In today¡¯s world of not-so-personal human relationships, people are living a life that lacks human intimacy.
As per their original design, human beings are meant to be close to each other and interact physically. If you ask anyone, they will tell you that being touched is one of the things they miss when they¡¯re single. Most often than not, this touch they refer to isn¡¯t even sexual in nature but it¡¯s the hugs and cuddles their bodies miss the most.?
Physical intimacy is an extremely personal act of affection and you just can¡¯t share it with anyone and everyone.?
So, when you¡¯re in a phase of your life where you have no one to share this intimacy with, you end up looking for it everywhere. It is a beautiful thing to want to be touched but trouble begins when you pay more attention to getting intimate rather than who is providing it.?
The lack of physical gestures leads you to a place where eventually, you settle for whatever comes your way. Even if the person doesn¡¯t fit in your life, you take their puzzle piece and shove it in the wrong design. As human beings, our wants always trump our needs and the endgame is always flawed.
I can¡¯t even recall the number of times I¡¯ve developed feelings for someone who was in no way good for me just because physical intimacy was involved. Your mind can manipulate you to turn into an emotional mushball whose reasons to get involved with someone aren¡¯t exactly based on anything substantial.?
For some of us, our mental health plays a huge role in choosing partners. It is a known fact that simply being held can significantly lower our anxiety levels and being cuddled can help someone gain a better sleep pattern if that is something lacking in their life. Even people who are extremely strong-headed and independent turn into softies when held by someone they care about because it shows them that they¡¯re cared for as well. But sometimes the action doesn¡¯t necessarily combine well with the emotion and casual physical intimacy is mistaken for something much more intense and serious.
Wanting to be touched only makes you human but settling down for what¡¯s not for you isn¡¯t healthy.?
¡°I¡¯ve gotten involved with multiple people just because they gave me the comfort of physical intimacy and because of that temptation, I forgot that mental equation is also important and that it shouldn¡¯t have been my secondary concern. No points for guessing, none of those relationships worked out for me.¡±
Srishti Kapoor, 25
Coming across this example, I can vouch for the fact that this isn¡¯t the only one out there. Most of us know this feeling and have experienced something similar in our own lives, if not more than once. It is a common human error and one that everyone, unfortunately, ends up making. What matters is that after a certain point, one recognises the gross flaw in the design and rectifies it.?
¡°After the initial thrill of being physically close to someone new in my life was over, I was brought to the realisation that mentally, nothing about the person simulated me. I was selfish and had tried to place them in my life where they had no business being. Once I self-awareness hit me, I ended things because it wasn¡¯t fair to him. As far as my own needs were concerned, I decided that the next time I crave something like this, I need to base my decisions more realistically than in spur of the moment.¡±
Radhika Miglani, 28
Self-awareness is the first step to avoid being part of this whole blunder to begin with. Once you¡¯re well informed of why you¡¯re doing this, you¡¯ll be able to make an educated guess about the consequences of your involvement with the other person.?
Knowing who to be intimate with but not coming across such an opportunity doesn't mean you won't crave it. It is absolutely normal to want it but this is where you need to place your bets smartly. Don't put yourself in situations you would rather avoid and no hearts will be broken, including your own. There are plenty ofys to distract yourself from this and as soon as you figure out what works out for you, there will be nothing holding you back.?
Don't hold back from getting involved in activities that might help you feel good about life but make sure nothing ever gets out of hand. Remember, you're not alone in this and every time you decide to make a hasty decision about getting involved with another person, their life is automatically linked to yours. Then, you become responsible for their feelings along with yours.?
You¡¯re in charge of what you choose to be a part of; choose smartly.