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How Did Dating Become Such An Ugly Chore?

A 24-year-old who has never had a boyfriend is dating for the first time. She has already ghosted and been ghosted by one of her dates. The newest experience is &lsquobreadcrumbing&rsquo If you don't understand these new relationship terms consider your ignorance bliss.
Isheeta Sharma Updated on Jan 31, 2019, 16:35 IST

I think this guy is bread crumbing me,¡± my friend announced.

She has recently ventured into the dating world, having strictly kept away from it for 24 years. Yes, a 24-year-old who has never had a boyfriend. Absorb that fact.

This is the fourth guy she has spoken to this month. She has already ghosted and been ghosted by one of her dates. The newest experience is ¡®breadcrumbing¡¯. If you don¡¯t understand these new relationship terms, then consider your ignorance bliss. While discussing her dating life on various apps, I started to wonder when dating turned into a mind-numbing chore?

Also read: 17 Signs You're Bored In A Relationship & It's Time To Hit The 'Escape' Button

Don¡¯t consider this a rant on online dating because I have nothing against it. In fact, I met my first long-term boyfriend on a Facebook group. Even though our profiles were virtual, the romance was real. We used to sit in front of the computer, whiling away time before the other person came online. It took us weeks to exchange phone numbers and months to finally meet.

When I first saw him, I hid behind a pillar mustering the strength to finally meet the cutest guy I had ever seen. We talked the entire day and walked the length of Connaught Place four times and when we finally hugged to say goodbye, my heart almost leapt out of my chest.?

Even though that relationship didn¡¯t work out, it was very different from what dating has become for most of my peers. After complaining about the quality of men on dating apps, my friend shook her head and said, ¡°Well, I still have to do this because where else will I meet men?¡± And that, right there, is the issue.

We¡¯ve become so heavily dependent on virtual dating that it has sucked the romance out of it.

Again, I have nothing against one-night stands or casual flings, but when it comes to dating, take out the romance and it is nothing but two strangers having awkward moments. Romance is what makes it worthwhile. The whole dance of prepping up for a date (mentally or physically) is only of value when there is excitement. When it turns into a bunch of annoying steps one must take to eventually find Mr/Mrs Right, how will there be excitement for the ones that come before?

Also read: Surprising Psychological Facts About Love & Attraction That Explain A Lot About Relationships

What can we really expect from a world where dating has been reduced to acronyms and emojis?

We don¡¯t have to be poets to type down a proper text of admiration and appreciation. Even a casual fling can have emotional value. After all, romance is only alive as long as emotions are. Let the dating apps only fulfil one aspect of dating ¨C convenience. Allowing technology to revolutionize our world for the worse with minimalistic attitudes is against human nature.

Humans feel. They don¡¯t always have to over-the-top, but they definitely don¡¯t have to be reduced to cringe-worthy trends. Ghosting, breadcrumbing, benching ¨C let¡¯s erase these words from the modern vocabulary. And bring back etiquette in love. Let¡¯s give each other the closure we¡¯re all looking for. On dating apps and off it, let¡¯s stop making the process of finding love a chore.

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