The idea of a conventional relationship comes with its own set of rules. People are expected to do everything together and eventually become a part of each other. But gone are the days when one gives in to these ¡®traditional¡¯ ideas and new rules are coming into play.?From small things like keeping your social circles different to not having the same political opinions, the latest to join the ¡®new rule¡¯ gang is sleep divorce. Yes, you read that right.?
The term stands for when two people decide to sleep in separate bedrooms not only to increase their shut-eye time but also to improve their relationship. Even though there have been enough studies which determine that sleeping next to a loved one increases your intimacy quotient, this new concept is definitely for people like us who need a better sleep cycle.?
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A study by Paracelsus Private Medical University in Germany concluded that there is a prominent link between sleep cycles and relationship issues. Not being able to sleep peacefully next to someone due to several reasons like snoring, sleep-talking etc disturbs your own sleep cycle and further increases irritability in life in general. No one enjoys being sleep deprived and eventually, your relationship could be on the receiving end of your irritation.?
If you¡¯re unfortunate enough to face similar problems due to any reason related to your partner sleeping next to you, make a conscious decision to do something about it. Rather than turning it into a blame game about who doesn¡¯t let who sleep peacefully, experiment with ¡®sleep divorce¡¯.??If sharing a bed isn¡¯t spiking a rise in your intimacy game, the least you can do to save your relationship and your sleep cycle is to get your shut-eye in different rooms.
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In order to execute this new change in your lifestyle, be completely upfront with your partner about the issues you¡¯re facing. Instead of forcing them to follow this new plan, make them understand about how healthy it could be for their relationship. Even though experts and studies swear by this method now, it is a very ¡®trial and error¡¯ approach to solving your problem. So, if it doesn¡¯t work out, you can always look for other options but if it does, the prize is yours to take.?
Indiatimes spoke to a few couples about this concept and discovered some interesting opinions.
¡°I¡¯ve been married for about five years now and like every other couple, my wife and I share a bed. But she¡¯s a light sleeper and I have sleep apnea which makes me snore very loudly. To be honest, I had never even considered the possibility of this but there¡¯s no harm in trying. Instead of having her complain about how sleep deprived she is all the time because of me, we might just end up talking about other things too.¡±
- Lovish Verma, Lawyer
While there were others who were already in on the plan and shared their two cents with us.
¡°My boyfriend and I have been living together for about a year now but we must have slept next to each other for like a week. I have restless leg syndrome and I used to end up kicking him all the time. Since this is not something I have control over, we just decided to have separate bedrooms. So, we do everything together but when it comes to getting some shut-eye, we go to our respective rooms. That way, we our personal space with a peaceful sleep cycle and a healthy relationship.¡±
- Meera Gupta, Counselor
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These two examples prove that if not for the long run, sleeping separately does have immediate benefits. The good part is also that people are not completely averse to the idea and think it¡¯s a doable experiment.?
A professional¡¯s approach to everything covers a lot of doubts, and the author of ¡°Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart¡±, Jennifer Adams believes that the most important thing to watch out for before bringing about this change in your life is to make you and your partner are on the same page. So, as long as both of you are clear on that, there¡¯s nothing that can stop you from doing things to better your relationship. Adams also believes that --?
¡°As soon as you are getting the sleep you need, I can almost guarantee the relationship will flourish because you won't be sleep deprived. Feelings of resentment that build from lying awake each or most nights are destructive for a relationship and dealing with those feelings of resentment when sleep-deprived is not recommended.¡±
So, if you feel like your sleeping habits are taking a toll on your relationship, introducing ¡®sleep divorce¡¯ in your relationship might just save you from a real one.