After Kabir Singh¡ªa remake of Sandeep Reddy Vanga¡¯s Arjun Reddy¡ªreleased last Friday two things happened: the film became Shahid Kapoor's biggest opener till date; and divided the audience into two groups.
The first group believes Kabir Singh to be extremely problematic as it 'celebrates' sexism, misogyny and toxic masculinity. The second group believes that the film should be left alone because it is just that, a film. If it doesn¡¯t work for you, just don¡¯t watch it.
At Indiatimes, the house stands divided too.
Our lifestyle writer Vatsala Vats believes cinema has the power to influence the very audience it aims to entertain so a film can¡¯t glorify abuse, self-destruction and non-consensual relationships. Isha Sharma, our entertainment writer wants reel life issues to stay untouched.
That discussion went something like this:
Whoever's seen Kabir Singh will attest to the fact that the protagonist is the very definition of toxic masculinity. He's violent; we see him beat up another boy in the middle of a football match. He is unemotional because instead of seeking therapy or treatment for his issues, he drinks away to glory and consumes a plethora of drugs to feel normal.
He never reaches out to a loved one for support. The whole 'boys don¡¯t cry' was mind-numbing to say the least.
But wait. Our hero is sexually aggressive too. He threatens a girl with a knife and asks her to strip for him. He kisses a girl? without her consent and asks her to cover herself up after the first time they have sex.
The problem arises when this behaviour is glorified as it has been in the the film. We can¡¯t have young men thinking that suppressing their emotions is cool. It's not.
We can¡¯t have young men thinking asking for sex and using sex to get over your long lost love is okay. It isn¡¯t. And it's NEVER okay to hit someone.
Yes, Kabir Singh was violent and aggressive but we¡¯ve seen characters reeking of toxic masculinity since ages now.
Years ago, KJo¡¯s film that was ¡®all about loving your family¡¯ released and everyone failed to notice how Big B¡¯s character was downright sexist. He wouldn¡¯t let his wife (played by Jaya Bachchan) speak a word: ¡°Bas keh Diya Na."
In Bhansali¡¯s Devdas, Dev could not accept the fact that his lover had moved on and married someone else. Just like a typical Indian man who's never good with rejection, he tries to mentally manipulate Paro (Aishwarya Rai) by playing the victim.
Since ages, Hindi cinema has played with the idea of men reacting in different ways with rejection. Kabir Singh is no different but the outrage against the movie is unfair.
Kabir Singh is a three-hour cinematic celebration of self-destruction and self-loathing. For most of the movie, you see Kabir Singh down neat whiskeys and snorting coke because he has lost the love of his life.
The only thing going for him is his career as a surgeon but mind you a surgeon who has performed over 500 surgeries. Under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
I really wish the movie showed healthy ways of overcoming breakups. Can we stop romanticizing self-loathing already?
Yes, he is ill-tempered and thinks like the entire world revolves around him but, in the end, when his brother tries to manipulate the law, he takes a stand for himself and admits every mistake he has ever made.
Bullying and violence are never right, and Kabir Singh is a flawed character but the film isn¡¯t trying to become the flag-bearer of heroism. He reaps what he sows and I guess, that¡¯s fair.
So how did Kabir Singh get Preeti (Kiara Advani)? He made a public declaration of owning Preeti and an open threat to other boys that if they even look at her, they will be beaten up.
Then instead of asking her for a date and waiting for her answer, he asks her to get up and leave with him. Erm...
Why did we reduce love to a demand from one person while blissfully ignoring the consent of the other?
The assumption that a girl will blindly agree with you and therefore automatically likes you is infuriating. This can't be love.
For people pointing out the fact that the relationship was abusive and toxic need to check their facts here.
They both fell in love with each other and the ol' regular ¡®I-will-chase-a-girl-and-coax-her-into-saying-yes¡¯ stunt wasn't there.
Preeti might be one of those submissive ones and, yes, I¡¯m not trying to justify her character here but all I¡¯m saying is, it was a consensual relationship.
The fact that Kiara Advani¡¯s portrayal of Preeti Sikka has been reduced to a mere prop is not surprising. What else do you expect from a writer-director who has glorified misogyny, sexism and abusive relationships.
Kiara Advani has been shown as a girl who, for starters, can¡¯t even make eye contact, and only opens her mouth to plead, beg or refer to Kabir Singh as ¡®baby¡¯.
The fact that she was an ambitious medical student was never shown because how else will we focus on the hero then?
Every director sketches a different character. If a few years ago, we accepted a film like Anurag Kashyap¡¯s Wasseypur without questioning the intent of the director or how he glorifies violence in the film, then Kabir Singh too deserves this filmy hall pass.
If we celebrate so-called masala films starring Salman Khan where ¡®character dheela¡¯ is casually thrown around, then Kabir Singh should be considered pure entertainment too, and nothing more.
Don¡¯t you dare tell me that Kabir Singh and Preeti Sikka are in love. They are not in love. They are in an abusive relationship.
Don¡¯t tell me he won¡¯t hit her because he does.
Don¡¯t tell me she can voice how she feels because when she did Kabir Singh lashed out at her.
A partner who expects you to fight your father (the man who has raised you) and go against your family all in 6 hours, then your partner doesn't see you as an equal. Far from it.
Just like a dance film doesn¡¯t push you to join a dance class or a film like Wasseypur doesn¡¯t motivate you to pick up a gun and become a goon, Kabir Singh can't entice you to become an aggressive lover boy like him.
It shows a series of different events in a man¡¯s life, a man who hits a dead end, and how he deals with them.
Kabir Singh asks time and again, ¡°Is it 2019 if I can¡¯t marry the love of my life because of caste?¡±
I have the same question: is it really 2019 if we're still having to deal with a man-child and a three-hour-long narrative on his life, a life that spiraled out of control for which only he is to blame?
A character in 2019 covered head-to-toe in toxic masculinity is simply not acceptable. A dumbed-down female lead in 2019 is not welcome.
A love story that has abuse and self-destruction as its foundation has no place in our reel and real life.
For once, instead of taking every character and every film seriously, can we just enjoy cinema for what it is?
Not everything should be a topic of scrutiny. We need to ease off on the armchair activism.
If we can be okay with films like Raanjhana and Darr, why treat Kabir Singh any different?
What side of the fence are you on? Let us know in the comments below.