11 signs you are sabotaging your own relationship & how to break the pattern

Relationships are hard work, even more so when the spark of a new relationship starts settling down and you start to think about long-term relationships. If you are someone who's not able to maintain those relationships it's time to stop putting the blame on others and take a deeper look at your behavior.

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What is self-sabotaging?

In romantic relationships, self-sabotage typically refers to destructive behaviour patterns that undermine a strong bond and provide an excuse to break it up. It happens when one partner frequently engages in habits that can cause stress in the relationship, leading to unnecessary fights and an eventual end to said relationship.

Signs you are self-sabotaging your relationship

Here are 11 signs that you are being your own enemy and are knowingly or knowingly pushing your partner away.

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1. Creating unnecessary conflicts.
2. Gaslighting your partner.
3. Constantly criticising your partner.
4. Holding grudges against your partner.
5. Withdrawing emotionally and avoiding spending quality time together.
6. Not communicating your needs in the first place, and then reprimanding your partner for not meeting them.
7. Making unfounded allegations such as accusing your partner of lying about something or of cheating on you.
8. Purposefully ignoring your problems or blaming your partner for your actions.
9. Avoiding physical intimacy.
10. Setting unrealistic expectations from your partner and relationship.
11. Not taking things to the next level and always having one foot out the door.

Also Read:?9 ways to add intimacy in your long-term boring relationship

How to stop self-sabotaging your relationship?

The first step to breaking your pattern of self-sabotage is identifying your reasons and triggers for it. More often than it is your past trauma, either from childhood or previous relationships, and lack of self-confidence that causes you to self-sabotage a loving relationship.

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Once you have identified your triggers, honestly communicate them with your partner. Apologise and explain your reasons for doing what you did. Understand that simply identifying and owning up to your bad behaviour is not enough, you have to actually work on yourself to deal with the root cause. Seek professional counselling or therapy to deal with your issues for the betterment of your mental health and of your partner.

If you are self-aware enough that you've made it to the end, remember, that half the work is already done. To solve any problem the most difficult step is admitting that you have a problem! The rest will fall into place. Just be kind to yourself, convey your thoughts to your partner and seek assistance to solve them. After all, you do not want to lose 'the one' now that you've found them, right?

Also Read:?6 foolproof ways to get over your ex after a breakup

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