If You're Too Shy To Talk To Your Partner About What You Want In Bed, These Points May Help

Seeing a friendship turn into love is one of the most blissfully amazing things in the world. To be able to share with your partner all the things you love, hate or are afraid of truly works to solidify any relationship. So, why should talking about things you want from him/her in the sack be left out? There are naysayers, but some of us belong to the camp of people who believe that sex plays a major role in a relationship. It is just one of the most amazing things you share with your partner, and just one of the most amazing things that makes your time together unforgettable.

So, if you find yourself struggling to talk about things that should come naturally, it's time you took a pause. Cut through the bullshit and make the most of your time together; take a look at the list below and find a way to talk to your partner about exactly what it is that you want in bed.

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1. Find your moment and just say it

Stop trying to communicate telepathically. It rarely works if ever. And the more you think about it, the more you'll second-guess yourself and look for a way out.

2. Don't sugar-coat it. Be as specific as you can

This is exactly why we're doing this in the first place: so you can guide your partner, and eventually find something BOTH of you can enjoy.

3. If it's awkward, you're probably doing it right

If it's your first time (puns not intended), you may feel a little awkward. But remember that it doesn't have to be all about it. Gulp it, sip it, slice it and eat it. Once you move past it, it'll get easier automatically.

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4. If you want to practice saying it, that's okay too

If point #1 is too intense for you, you may try practicing what you want to say first. Make sure you remember point #2

5. No you DON'T know your partner's mind so don't pretend to

The worst thing you can do at this point is assume. Don't assume that they like something, and conversely, don't assume that they're supposed to get it if you don't like something. Communication is the name of the game.

6. 'Did that feel good? Was that okay for you?' are good phrases to help you test the waters

These phrases feel good in the moment and take away the awkward, a little bit, when you're talking to your partner later on.

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7. Did we mention, non-verbal cues?

There's no bigger giveaway than non-verbal cues. Especially in a state of heightened arousal, these cues can stand out. And it's the most effective way of communication ever. So pay attention to those.

8. In fact, you can use the non-verbal cues to communicate your likes and dislikes

This is another effective way to talk (without talking) about things you like and don't like.

9. Lead the way

If non-verbal cues aren't cutting it, you can always show them the thing you want it bed. Lead the way and show them a thing or two.

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