Why?Married Women Don't?Want To Live With In-Laws? This Quora User Has A Logical Explanation
For a very long time, it was the norm that once a woman got married, she moved into?the house of her in-laws?and lived the rest of her life with them.?But with nuclear families becoming the new normal and both husband and wife working in their respective jobs, more and more women are now living away from their in-laws.
Choosing between career and family
While this has helped many women to pursue their careers even after marriage, they have also constantly?been accused?of putting themselves first and not?prioritising?the family.
Srishti Raj, a former Software Engineer at?TCS?has explained why more and more married women are choosing not to live with their in-laws after marriage.
Difficult to live with in-laws
In a post on Quora, Srishti said that she had been living away from her parents' home since 2010 after she completed schooling.
"Listening to several married?women?stories at?office, I?was of the opinion?that it's difficult to live with?in?laws,?because every daughter-in-law was frustrated and crying. I have seen so many sincere tears of daughter-in-laws on the bench of the office washroom," she wrote.
Can't adjust to even parents?
After ten years, she started living with her parents again in 2020, due to the COVID-19 lockdown. According to her, that is when she?realised?that seniors always want you to adhere to their guidelines and love giving instructions.?
"Now, I understand it is difficult to live with parents overall. A couple of years go into adjustment. And?same?will be the case with in-laws," she said.
Lack of freedom?
Another major issue, Srishti said she faced was how she was not allowed to give the house the look and feel she wanted.
"Even my mother wouldn't let me or my brother decorate the whole house to our taste. We have?rights?to decorate our room but rest the boss is my mother who decides what?kitchen, Pooja room, dining hall?etc?should look like. Why would any mother-in-law let me decorate her home?," she noted.
Married couple need time to adjust
Further, she pointed out that it requires a couple of years for both partners to fully adjust to each other and since women leave their parents and shift to in-laws' house, they have to get used to more people, which is a bigger challenge.
"I and my partner should be the decision-makers of that household. When living with in-laws it's not always possible," she said.
"As a woman, who can earn her?own?bread and is fiercely independent, I can vouch staying unmarried doesn't scare us, marrying wrong scares us," she added.
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