This is the era of the #MeToo movement and women empowerment. When women are calling out men for their inappropriate and downright loutish behaviour. In India, the age of feminism seems to have finally arrived. And rightly so. More power to all the women who are raising strident voices against men who have been power-walking all over them since decades.
However, let’s pause a moment. And think. Think about the fact that there are some men out there who are equally lashed by the whip of societal stereotypes as women. Men who are taunted for being Stay-At-Home-Dads. Men who are jeered at for taking a sabbatical. Men who are mocked for their sensitivity. And men who are automatically labelled bullies, just because they happen to be in a position of power in the organisation they work in. These men are as discriminated against as women who are questioned about their character by a certain section of society solely due to their attitude, clothes and beliefs.
Stereotyping works both ways. A clear example would be a currently popular show on Indian television, Bhabhiji Ghar Par Hain. Here, a Stay-At-Home-Husband is roundly snubbed as someone who is petrified of his wife just because she brings home the bacon. The fact that he cooks, cleans, irons clothes is the target of much derision. Plus, here, the wife is portrayed as a bully, and the husband a wimp.?
Representational Image
And that’s exactly what happens to a segment of men in our society. In our rush for equality, we seem to have forgotten that some men have different choices. Some men may be far more proficient in babysitting than in mechanical pursuits. They may prefer to exhibit their culinary skills even if it is not their profession. They may voluntarily want to be assistants, rather than bosses. And they have a right to do so.?
Not every man wants to strut about with an earpiece, snapping orders. Some want to retreat to the mountains and paint. And that does not make them any less of a man. Some really want to take a backseat and revel in their partner’s success. That does not make them opportunists. Some truly want to teach and nurture young minds. That does not, and should not make them easy targets of comments such as “Oh he is just a teacher... He couldn’t do anything else”.
In this age of machismo VS #MeToo, what one needs to understand is that sacrificing sensitivity is not the answer. And that sensitivity can emanate from any gender. Men have as much right as women to complain about authoritarian bosses, physical abuse, mental trauma and discrimination at work as women. And the fact that a man does that, does not, and should not make him any less of a man.
Remember an old episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S? Where Ross is confronted by a male nanny, and immediately assumes that the guy must either be gay or bisexual... That mindset needs to be worked upon. Ten years ago, that passed off as funny. But that should not and must not be the case now. Opportunities, options and desires need to be as available for men as for women. The fact that muscle power is not what defines all men needs to be accepted and appreciated.?
Let’s not scoff at men who are sensitive, tender, and nurturing. Let’s not run down their dreams. Let’s not subjugate them to a life of living up to an image of masculinity that they have chosen to discard. Flowers are for everyone. Let everyone enjoy their fragrance. Let’s not label some as effeminate just because they choose to do so.?
Equal rights need to extend to everyone. Men cannot be held in bondage if they choose a different life path. If they choose to cry. If they choose to take a backseat. They are the real men. They are the men who will stand up with women and fight for equality. For justice. For an end to discrimination and stereotyping.
Let the real men stand up now. It is time. Finally.
Abha Srivastava is a journalist who likes to look at the world through her own unique lens. And often finds it to be quite a spectacle! She has previously worked with Asian Age, Cosmopolitan, Catch News & Reader's Digest.
NOTE: The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent or reflect the views of Indiatimes.