Things You Have Always Wanted To Ask A Punjabi About Lohri
Surrounded by North Indians who are in a particularly cheerful mood today? Wondering what the hell is going on with people hugging each other for no apparent reason while muttering something obscene?
What the hell is the correct pronunciation?
Loh-ree
Not to be confused with the cuss word for c**t. Stop staggering.
So it¡¯s a festival to celebrate the end of winter? But it¡¯s still cold in Delhi.
No one likes a wise ass. Do you see us complain when it rains on Ganesh Chaturthi? Also, it¡¯s a harvest festival for farmers.
But isn¡¯t most of the farming in Punjab done by people from the plains now?
wuwm.com
Yes. It is. Don¡¯t nit pick.
So, if I go around office wishing everyone a happy Loh-ri, it will not count as sexual harassment?
happylohriwishes.com
No, it won¡¯t. Also, we get it you made a c**t joke. Drop it.
What if I went around hugging people? That wouldn¡¯t count as sexual harassment either?
happylohriwishes.com
It will, if it¡¯s not an A-line hug. Or if you linger.
I¡¯m throwing a Lohri bash. What should I serve my guests?
Til, moongfalli, corn. Probably something more if you want them to stay after the bonfire. Alcohol.
Do we all have to wear colourful lungis?
Only if you have thermal underwear. Also, you are probably confusing it with baisakhi.
Is a dhol mandatory?
sid-thewandrer.blogspot.com
It¡¯s not required, but we sure appreciate it.
What¡¯ll the rest of the playlist be?
Wait, so the same song? Yep. But there are two versions of it. There¡¯s also this Veer Zara song that you can intersperse your dubstep with.
Kabeer is the Editor of Indiatimes. He is two parts writer, five parts bum; perpetually tuned out; born sarcastic, addicted to black humour & club sandwiches. In his spare time he cribs and writes (in that order).
