To Kill Boredom During Lockdown, I Watched Gangs of Wasseypur Part 1. Here Are 71 Thoughts I Had

To utilize my time after work (because it is not safe to admit during work), I watched Anurag Kashyap¡¯s Gangs of Wasseypur Part 1 (because aaj kuch toofani karne ka mann tha) for the second time, and here are 71 thought I had.

PS. It was almost like watching for the first time, because I clearly didn¡¯t notice so many things earlier.

1. Let¡¯s plug in the earphone because it¡¯s not a family film (gharwale sunn lenge toh?).

2. It¡¯s a 2:39 hour film. Wow! (Aaj toh kaafi sahi time paas ho jayega!)

3. Wait, I don¡¯t want to watch Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. Why are they playing the title track?

4. Oh, that¡¯s part of the movie. I can¡¯t wait for the gunshots!

5. Here they are, and so is Pankaj Tripathi aka Sultan.

6. Less than five minutes into the movie, and they¡¯re already killing people. Good sh*t!

7. So, they have killed about seven people and fired about 110 gunshots¡­ My ears!!! My ears!!!

8, The Khalnayak ringtone is kinda cool. I should put it once I¡¯m back to work. My office pals would love it. Nayak nahiiiiiii¡­ Khalnaayaak hoon maiiiii..!

9. Beh*****d¡¯s english translation is sister fuc*ers. Lol! Reading subtitles is fun.

10. Okay, somebody just blurted out the ultimate truth -- ¡°Insaan jo hai buss do nasal ke hote hain¡­ ek hote hain haraami aur dusre bewakoof¡­ kab koi haraami bewakoofi pe utar aata hai, aur kab koi bewakoof haraamzadgi ka taalaab bann jata hai¡­ pata hi nahi chalta.¡± That¡¯s so damn true!

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11. The concept of mysterious and faceless coal mafia Sultana Daku is almost like Gabbar. Soja beta nahi toh gabbar aa jayega, remember?

12. The role of Shahid Khan is being essayed by the same man, Jaideep Ahlawat, who played Alia Bhatt¡¯s trainer, RAW officer Khalid Mir, in Raazi. He also played Shehzad Tanveer, an ISA agent who is neck deep in Taliban's operations in Pakistan in Emraan Hashmi starrer Bard of Blood. I didn¡¯t realise this before and I¡¯m bowled over already!

13. ¡°Ik Bagal Mein Chand Hoga... Ik Bagal Mein Rotiyan..¡± Piyush Mishra¡¯s voice is just amazing. I should add this song to my playlist.

14. Half an hour into the movie and the main characters (or let¡¯s say the characters I¡¯m waiting for) haven¡¯t yet appeared. Where is Manoj Bajpayee and Nawazuddin Siddqui?

15. But the plot and story is still intriguing.

16. Meanwhile, Tigmanshu Dhulia's Ramadhir Singh is here. Yay!

17. Next time someone irritates me, I¡¯m going to use this dialogue -- ¡°Hum andar mootne ja rahe hain¡­ moot ke vaapis aayein toh koi dikhayi nahi dena chaiye¡±. Courtesy: Ramadhir Singh

18. Wait a minute! Ehsaan Qureshi was a comedian from The Great Indian Laughter Challenge. Damn, he was hilarious. Umm.. it¡¯s going to be difficult to take Vipin Sharma¡¯s character seriously now.

19. Casting in the movie deserves applause. Sardar Khan (Manoj Bajpayee) looks a lot like Shahid Khan (Jaideep Ahlawat),, doesn¡¯t he? Old and young versions of Piyush Mishra (Shahid Khan¡¯s cousin Nasir), Timangshu Dhulia (Ramadhir Singh) are also uncannily similar.

20. Finally, after 37 minutes, Sardar Singh aka Manoj Bajpaayee makes his grand entry!

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21. I always wondered what if someone refuses to say ¡°Kabul hai¡± during the wedding! My Muslim friend told me that doesn¡¯t happen. It¡¯s funny to see that happening in the movies though. Richa Chadha (Nagma Khatoon) just didn¡¯t want to get married to Sardar Singh.

22. At 39 minutes, Badle ki aag in Sardar Khan is adding fuel to the whole story of Gangs of Wasseypur.

23. The much awaited dialogue is here: ¡°Goli nahi maarenge saale ko¡­ keh ke lenge uski¡­¡±

24. And there¡¯s more to it: ¡°usse uski aukat batayenge¡­ dheere dheere uska sab kuch cheen lenge. Apne aap hi marr jayega madarc**d.¡±

25. Richa Chadha is a badass woman, in reel life and in real life.

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26. Sardar Khan¡¯s insatiable appetite for sex is above average.

27. Men are always horny, aren¡¯t they?

28. Richa Chadha has quite soon accepted that he will have extramarital affairs. So she tells him, ¡°Khana khao¡­ taakat aayega. Bahar ja ke bejjati mat karwana¡± A pregnant Richa Chadha to Sardaar Khan, who is finding it tough to live without sex.

29. At 50 minutes: Not able to decide whether the pink shirt looks dapper on Manoj Bajpayee or too desi.

30. Keh ke lunga is the best motivational song I have ever heard.

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31. I need to add more songs to my playlist.

32. This is undoubtedly Bajpayee's best performance since Bhiku Mhatre in Satya.

33. I am not even half past through and the rich plot is making my head spin.

34. It¡¯s unavoidable to make weird faces while applying Kajal. Even Manoj Bajpayee did. Beauty bloggers were right. Lol!

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35. Just in: Manoj Bajpayee ne Rs 10 mein plot khareeda hai. Yeah, Dus Rupay!

36. Okay! The story between Ramadhir Singh and Sardar Singh is getting intense now.

37. If only could, I would also slap people and then ask for punishment, just like Sardar Singh.

38. Aiming for this level of confidence from now on: ¡°Bidhayak J.P.Singh ko kut diye SP ke office mein, woh bhi uske baap ke saamne. Sardar Khan naam hain hamara. Kya kiye? Kut diye. Vo bhi uske baap ke saamne.¡± ROFL!

39. Ramadhir Singh is easily one of Hindi Cinema's greatest villains.

40. I have started to fall for this character by now, especially after his iconic ¡°ab toh sach bol de bho***ike¡± dialogue.

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41. Another brilliant song: ¡°Bhoos ke dher me raayi ka dana, rang biranga bail seyana, dooje peher me toot tha taara, paani pe girta sabka paara¡±

42. I need to study the lyrics of all these songs and tweet appreciation posts for all lyricists.

43. I have no clue what they're saying in most of the song but ¡®O Womaniya¡¯ is stuck in my head now.

44. Didn¡¯t realise this empowering song is played for when Sardar Singh is bringing forth his pervertness for Durga. It has now messed up with my head.

45. The kids of Dhanbad are smarter than my stupid neice and nephews.

46. Strangely, I am loving the snatches of humour in between the explosive violence.

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47. Not even a single man in this film are far away from moral compass!

48. And there are too many characters. It¡¯s getting a little confusing now.

49. I think I need a GOW Guide Booklet to keep a track of everything -- from rivaliries to relationships.

50. Or maybe I should make a flowchart!

51. It will be difficult to get out of calling everything Bawaseer. That was simply epic.

52. Like just imagine this: After watching Gangs of Wasseypur, Me to my mom: ¡°Are ye kya bawasir bana di ho khane me?¡± Mom - ¡°Kha lo, nahi to g**nd¡­¡± LOL

53. I didn¡¯t know I had a psycho mind. They are killing people every minute and I am sort of enjoying them.

54. Pankaj Tripathi¡¯s stare is as scarier as my father¡¯s angry stare, or maybe worse. Like I¡¯ll piss if he looks at me like that.

55. Sardar Khan is a pervert who has many shades to his character that I hate, but I still love him somehow. Why?! What¡¯s wrong with me?!

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56. I am actually thinking whether Definite is a good name for my future son.

57. Nagma (Richa Chadha) just slept with Nasir (Piyush Mishra). This is not the level of sex-hungriness I expected.

58. No, wait. They didn¡¯t! But they were about to. Oh Damn! Faizal is going to live all his life with a lie.

59. Sardar Khan is funny even when he is angry. Is that why everyone loves that character?

60. Waited for 1:59 hours to see Nawazuddin AKA Faizal. Finally!!!!

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61. Just remembered GOW is Huma Querishi¡¯s debut movie. She has got the best break in Bollywood ever!

62. Confusion between Faizal and Fazlu is adding to my misery of remembering all characters and their past.

63. The story is getting more gripping than before. Interesting is picking up quite a lot now.

64. All this meant and Qureshis are making me vomit. P.S. I am vegetarian.

65. Another life lesson: ¡°Gareebi tod deti hai jo riste khaas hote hain, Aur paraaye apne hote hai jab paise paas hote hain¡±. Waah, Waah!

66. Hahaha. Another epic dialogue: "Poochhke rakhiye haat, koi mana thodi hai, permission leni chahiye¡­" Because consent is fu**ing important!

67. Just like my friends, Faizlu turns out to be a Saanp. (Sab dost ek jaise hote hain)

68. My hero is dead! What did they do! Why? (Because they wanted to make a Part 2, I know, but why?)

69. The movie was absorbing. It took a part of me as it ended.

70. I feel more exhausted than satisfied.

71. I think it's time to watch Part 2! Yeah, I¡¯m ready!