41 Painfully Funny Mom Tweets To Let You Know That Literally Every Day Is Mother's Day
Congratulations! You're one step closer to the truth now.
Ask a mother what one of the best moments of her life is and she'll probably bring up the day she gave birth to you. The saint that she is, she'll also tell you how you were naughty 'at times' but otherwise 'Oh, such an angel!' Weeeeeell..... that's not true. You never were an angel and definitely aren't one now. You put her through quite a lot. And since our mothers won't admit to that, we've got a whole bunch of tweets here that pretty much sum up a mother's never-ending journey.
Do share this with your mom so she can laugh about this stuff without feeling too guilty.
unsplash/Matt Hoffman
#1
Me : I'm just feeling a little lost since the last few months
¡ª Richa Vaidya (@WohFilmyLadki) May 5, 2015
Mom : Have Chawan prash.#MomConversations #IndianMother
#2
Finding pieces of a dismembered toy's body parts while cleaning. Am I raising a serial killer? #AverageParentProblems
¡ª Anonymous MOM (@AnonyMOMtt) April 29, 2018
#3
Bedtime is the time my kids suddenly get hungry for the dinner they refused to eat.
¡ª Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) May 1, 2018
#4
Daughter: You're invading my personal space
¡ª Moe (@_Mo_lee_) January 8, 2016
Mom: You came out of my personal space
#5
Motherhood = finding the silver lining
¡ª Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) August 13, 2016
Like when your toddler gets to the potty in time but forgets to aim & pees on the wall.
#6
To my neighborhood: if you hear screams coming from my house, it¡¯s because I told my child I wouldn¡¯t put her barbie dream house together tonight. Please don¡¯t call the police. #averageparentproblems
¡ª Erica Hansen (@ericajh209) December 31, 2017
#7
Apparently changing the locks isn¡¯t funny to my husband or my kids...but I gave my dog a new key.
¡ª Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) April 27, 2018
#8
While snuggling my toddler stuck her middle finger up her nose and then wiped her boogers on my forehead ¡ª motherhood wrapped into 3 seconds. #Momlife
¡ª Meaghan Tighe Peters (@MeaghanTPeters) May 2, 2018
#9
Newton's third law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.
¡ª Total Mom Life (@TotalMomLife) April 27, 2018
Or as parents put it: If we stay up later than normal and/or drink more than usual, our kids are guaranteed to wake up overnight and/or wake up earlier in the morning.#Parenting #MomLife
#10
Asked to switch seats on the plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that's not allowed if the baby is yours.
¡ª Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) February 12, 2014
#11
I don't care how cute your kid is. When you wake up in the middle of the night and see them standing next to your bed, they are terrifying.
¡ª Wendy S. (@maughammom) August 1, 2016
#12
When the reason you drink coffee wants to "help" make your coffee. ?? #MomLife #ToddlerProblems #AverageParentProblems
¡ª Sharanda (@SharandaCrews) November 17, 2016
#13
If you like going to birthday parties where you stand awkwardly for 2 hours and leave with a sugar-drunk kid instead of a loot bag, being a parent may just be for you. #momlife #parenting
¡ª The Stay at Home Misfit (@stayhomemisfit) April 28, 2018
#14
#SeemsLikeYesterday
¡ª Alice Wonders (@MrsArthur3) May 1, 2018
My daughter said, let me make you a Twitter account mom, you'll have so much fun, she said...now she hates when I'm on Twitter #Kids
#15
Hey, parents of an only child considering having one more, know that I just split an M&M in half.
¡ª Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 7, 2015
An M&M.
In half.
#16
I only have like 5 more fertile years to have The Rock's baby and let me tell ya it's a lot of pressure
¡ª Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) May 1, 2018
#17
My daughter started her Christmas list early. Should I be worried? pic.twitter.com/MWzSGNw1gl
¡ª Nikka Bee (@_NikkaBee) May 1, 2018
#18
Toddler: *crying bc it isn't her turn with the princess crown*
¡ª Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 5, 2017
Me: Sweetie, you need to share
Husband: Just give her the crown, you're 35
#19
No one has more shit on their to-do list than a child how has just been told it¡¯s time for bed.
¡ª Katie Yeager (@Katiebyeager) March 24, 2018
#20
"HEY MOMMA I THINK 'SHIT' IS YOUR FAVORITE WORD," my son shouted while in line at a crowded grocery store on a Sunday morning
¡ª Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 29, 2018
#21
My children can go an entire day at home without a glass of water but only 30 seconds in the car before dehydration sets in.
¡ª Jessie (@mommajessiec) April 17, 2018
#22
My mother lived through the Great Depression. The other day I ran out of my favorite coffee. We all have our challenges.
¡ª Jackie Bouvier (@jackiembouvier) April 21, 2018
#23
Well, I guess I'm not doing yoga in the morning. #averageparentproblems https://t.co/c6WfsyHZvO pic.twitter.com/4PmXnGWO6X
¡ª Tara Roberts (@TaraBethIdaho) May 3, 2017
#24
Dad: travels and works all the time, minimum once per month
¡ª Anonymous MOM (@AnonyMOMtt) April 29, 2018
Mom: takes first solo trip in 10years
Child: Mummy don¡¯t goooooo
??
#25
Thisweekhasbeenkickingmyass.Thekidsarehomefromschoolanditsbeenrainingallweek.Andtotopitalloff,thespacebarbrokeonmycomputer.
¡ª Ilana Wiles (@mommyshorts) March 30, 2018
#26
Wanted to go for a quick run but instead settled for a very slow walk with my kids #momlife
¡ª Sara ? (@Sefave82) May 1, 2018
#27
Oh you spent $8K to take your kids to Disney? My son watched the garbage truck empty our trash 20 minutes ago and he's still talking about it
¡ª Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) April 26, 2018
#28
Changing your baby's outfit increases their chance of spitting-up by 82%.
¡ª MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) February 16, 2018
That's just science.
#29
Alexa, feed my kids.
¡ª MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) January 2, 2018
#30
I thought my toddler was saying inappropriate words, but she was just pretending to read a Dr Seuss book. #momlife
¡ª Kristen Weber (@kristenwEditor) May 2, 2018
#31
Kids should come with the following warning label:
¡ª Total Mom Life (@TotalMomLife) April 30, 2018
CUDDLE AT YOUR OWN RISK. WE THROW OUR HEADS BACK AT UNPREDICTABLE TIMES. MAY CAUSE BLACK EYES, BLOODY NOSES, OR WANTING TO DIE FROM PAIN. CUDDLE AT YOUR OWN RISK.
#32
#WhilePeopleWatching
¡ª Team Kas (@AgingMumDiaries) April 27, 2018
I give a preemptive ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡± look for what my toddlers will probably do.#momlife
#33
I¡¯m pretty sure I¡¯m already tired tomorrow. #momlife pic.twitter.com/wluPyVUcDk
¡ª mamaneedscoffee? (@girlboyworld) May 2, 2018
#34
Who knew being a parent was mostly repeating everything you say with increasing volume and rage.
¡ª Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) May 2, 2018
#35
I feel like I should create a recording of me saying PLEASE CLEAN THAT UP so I can just hit play 500 times a day.
¡ª Liz Gumbinner (@Mom101) November 12, 2015
#36
Instead of gold at the end of a rainbow, moms will find a nap, a maid and someone to listen to their kids talk about video games all day.
¡ª Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 17, 2017
#37
When your toddler gives you your phone back with apps missing and you're trying to figure out which ones they deleted. pic.twitter.com/gtzRmBmglP
¡ª MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) October 21, 2017
#38
Get a mom of young kids what she really wants for Mother¡¯s day
¡ª MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) April 23, 2018
multiple hours in a sensory deprivation chamber.
#39
If you hear blood-curdling screams coming from my house, everything is OK. I'm just trying to wipe my kid's nose.
¡ª Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) April 24, 2018
#40
If you look closely at the circles around a mother's eyes, you can count how many years she's lived without sleep.
¡ª Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) August 30, 2017
#41
I will vacuum up their Lego while they watch.
¡ª A Mancino-Williams (@Manda_like_wine) June 18, 2013
Tanya Sirohi is the Trending section lead at Indiatimes. She likes to write on a range of topics including viral stories, UFO sightings and exploring life on Mars.
