Flirting At The Workplace: How To Keep Things Innocent

It could be a compliment on your hairstyle, a smile from across the room or shooting brief glances at each other in a meeting. Yes, we all have that one co-worker we can¡¯t help but make googly eyes at.

But cross a line, and it¡¯s really hard to come back from it. This is especially true in today¡¯s corporate world where companies have adopted zero-tolerance policies when it comes to employees flirting in the workplace. Some have gone as far as to issue guidelines on hugs and even a ban on looking at a coworker for more than five seconds.

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But according to new research by the Washington State University that was released just last month, these policies could be misguided. As per their study, light-hearted flirtation and banter among colleagues is benign and can, in fact, help relieve stress in workers.

But one needs to be careful. There¡¯s a fine line between casual flirting and sexual harassment. You certainly don¡¯t want to come across as creepy.

¡°It¡¯s not only about getting yourself in trouble at work. You could put your career on the line. No one wants to work with someone who can¡¯t keep things professional in the office. It¡¯s a big red flag. It will deter current employers from promoting you and future employers from hiring you,¡± says Vedika Sharma, HR consultant.

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That doesn¡¯t mean that you can¡¯t keep things light at the workplace. If you manage to keep the banter innocent, you¡¯ll be just fine. Here are a few pointers to get you started.

1. Make a joke.

The easiest way to ensure that your flirty comments aren¡¯t taken too seriously at work is to make a joke about it. Remember the way you¡¯d casually tease the girl/boy you liked in college? If it didn¡¯t get you in trouble back then, it¡¯s highly unlikely to cause harm now. Just keep the conversation funny and complimentary. So long as the other person knows that what is being said is harmless and a joke, you should be okay.

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2. Be appropriate.

There can be no innuendos, sexual quips or comments on someone¡¯s body. ¡°If the opposite person thinks that you have crossed a line, there is no way to bring them back from it. And you definitely don¡¯t need to be known as the office creep. Also, there should be no touching at all. Most companies already have policies that discourage such behaviour. And even if they don¡¯t, it is still best to err on the side of caution. So avoid anything past a handshake,¡± says Sharma.

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3. If you would get upset if someone said the same thing to you or your partner, don¡¯t say it.

¡°A simple way to gauge if what you want to say will be interpreted in the right manner is to imagine it being said to you or your significant other. If you feel you¡¯d be upset or offended by the comment, avoid saying it at all,¡± says Sunaina Khan, a media professional. This kind of double standard isn¡¯t acceptable.

4. Never act on it.

The most important thing is to remember to restrict the flirting only to the workplace. That way it remains a work-friend thing. If it goes beyond that, things could get complicated. Also, never ever act on the comments and ensure that the person always knows that you aren¡¯t serious about them.

Lastly, avoid flirtatious interactions at parties where alcohol is free-flowing. ¡°At such get-togethers, everyone is in the mood to flirt. And alcohol is known to reduce inhibitions. You don¡¯t want to do or say something that you will regret the next day. It¡¯s a huge no-no. You don¡¯t want to ruin a good thing at work,¡± says Aarti Shah, a marketing executive.

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5. Watch their response.

Each person is different, so the way they perceive things will obviously not be the same. This will be the case when you flirt too. If you get the feeling that someone doesn¡¯t like what you say, dial it back a bit. At the same time, if the person starts taking things too seriously, stop. Even if both of you are single, you don¡¯t want to lead them on and then disappoint them when they muster the courage to ask you out.

¡°It happened to me and a colleague. Things got really uncomfortable after that. And she actually requested for a transfer to another team to avoid running into me. I felt really bad about it,¡± says Arjun Sharma, a media professional.

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6. Control your own emotions.

You could start getting attracted to the person who you¡¯ve been flirting with. It happens. Should you find yourself in such a situation, stop your interactions at once. You don¡¯t want to get emotionally involved with someone from work. Even if your feelings are reciprocated, your office policy could frown on such a relationship. Or if things don¡¯t work out, it could get really awkward or weird to be around each other. And you certainly do not want to feed the office grapevine. Your goal should be to be casual and stay away from anything that gets serious.