The Basic Etiquette Rule We've Forgotten: Being Kind To Servers. Time To Check Your Privilege

Is rudeness in restaurants on the rise? I certainly feel this way. As an advertising student, I have been told time and again by my professors to shamelessly eavesdrop because that¡¯s how we come to know what matters to people. So I found myself dining at a lovely restaurant known for its impeccable service and this is what I overheard.

This waiter seats a couple at a table right next to mine and starts by introducing herself, ¡°Good evening, sir and madam. Welcome. My name is Saloni* and I will..." The waitress was cut off mid-introduction because the lady, who was by now seated, said, ¡°Yeah yeah. One gin and tonic, fast."

I could see Saloni was a little taken aback. And whatever she felt, she didn't show it much. She simply replied, ¡°Absolutely, I¡¯ll be right back with your order.¡±

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I sat there, appalled. I really wanted to intervene but my sister stopped me from creating a scene.

I was left wondering how we would never cut someone off we just met at a party, so why do it in a restaurant? Why do it to a server who will bring you your food and drinks?

Why do people treat waiters as though they¡¯re invisible?

Disrespecting waiters doesn¡¯t make you cool or add to your so-called 'metropolitan image.' It makes you look like an over-privileged, cold, rude and ruthless person. The type of person, most people want to stay away from.

Funny how we still need to have a conversation about what should be and, on second thought, is basic etiquette. The question remains: what can you do to be a good customer? May be start with this list:

1. Don¡¯t piss off the hand that serves you.

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Your waiter has full access to your food and drinks. So is it rational to be rude to them when there¡¯s a possibility that they might tamper with your food? It¡¯s really not worth it. Be kind, get kindness back in return and eat in peace knowing your food has been served following all hygiene factors.

2. Incorporate these two words in your vocabulary: ¡®please¡¯ and ¡®thank you.¡¯

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'Please' and 'thank you' are two words we imbibe as soon as we start talking but, strangely, the older we get, the less we use them. In no way am I asking you to thank your waiter every time he or she comes to your table, but using these very words when you're requesting for something. This holds true outside a restaurant too.

3. Be ready to order when you claim that you are ready.

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Please don¡¯t call your server to take your order when you haven¡¯t made up your mind. Don't keep your server standing there while you contemplate which salad you want because you are wasting their time. They time they could spend looking after other customers. Please be considerate to the staff¡¯s time.

4. Waiters and waitresses remember nice customers so make an effort to be one.

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I bet you can¡¯t stop going to one restaurant because the food is absolutely great. If you are nice to your waiter and waitress, they will remember you and the next time you walk in, I can guarantee that they will go out of their way to look after you. After all, kindness begets kindness.

5. Waiters and waitresses are people too.

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They are people just like me and you. So, check your privilege because you might be economically well off but that doesn¡¯t give you the right to be rude to them. Superiority in any manner doesn¡¯t mean you can get away with rudeness. See them as people in their own right and you should be okay.

I just want to leave you with one last thing and that is being nice to waiters and waitresses can actually influence others around you to do the same. And before you know it, there'll be enough kindness to go around. Whatever you do, don¡¯t make a waiter¡¯s job harder than it already is.