Pressured To Get Married? Here's How It Affects Your Emotional And Mental Health

The pressures of turning into a full-grown adult consume a person the minute they turn 25. The quarter-life crisis starts to hit, and suddenly you are burdened with responsibilities you may not have given much thought to.

Securing a good job, earning a certain amount of money, and, of course, marrying. Yes, even though getting married may not even compare to securing a good career and having a better life, the people around you (especially in Indian society) believe that you may have accumulated an age where permanently living with a partner and raising a family is the way to go.

Suddenly, all your friends are getting married. Relatives who you never talked to are bombarding you with the "when will you get married?" question, and everything tends to start getting much more suffocating than it used to.

While this may or may not happen in time, the nagging feeling of having to get married takes a toll on one's mental and emotional health, in addition to the other more important responsibilities and pressures in life.

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How does the pressure of getting married affect an individual?

As per Divya Pathak, an MA in psychology with a specialisation in counselling and therapeutics and the co-founder of Yellow Epiphanies Mental Health Services, the pressure of marriage can push a person to feel various hard emotions. Which also includes certain mental health disorders.

Social anxiety

Imagine you are going to any party, a family event, or even just a function. All you see are people your age who are getting married, getting ready to get married, or talking about their married lives. Well, if that may not be the case, then there are all these relatives constantly nagging you to find a partner. Obviously, the fear of going out and meeting people will take over.

"I recently went to a relative's funeral, and even in those sad circumstances, my aunt came up to me to ask when I would get married. Going anywhere around my family at any place has become a task now," says 33-year-old Pratik.

Low self-esteem

The pressure to get married can lead to a sense of inadequacy and low self-esteem, particularly if the individual feels like they are not meeting their own or others' expectations. Other than that, if this individual does not have anyone and isn't meeting anyone in the future, it can lead to an inferiority complex as well. "Portraying it as a tool of social acceptance and challenging different life choices makes them think of themselves as lesser," adds Pathak.

"I have reached an age where almost all my friends are married now. So, whenever we all hang out, they come with their wives. Not that it is a problem as such, but sometimes I do feel a void, like I need to get married too just to have the same frequency," says 32-year-old Johnny.

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Depression

Certain feelings of sadness and hopelessness can be triggered when it comes to the pressure to get married. Especially if the person feels they are not making any progress towards finding a partner or meeting their goals."Social shaming in the name of concern by close ones is disheartening and actually feels like a crack in your support system," says Pathak.

Burnout

If an individual is devoting a lot of energy and time when it comes to looking for a partner to get married, it can also lead to burnout when things are not going the way they want them to. The person can not only lose hope but also feel overwhelmed with the same outcome over and over again.

"I am 31 and, honestly, despite having a reputable career, my parents can only think about me getting married. I am earning well and doing alright professionally as a lawyer, so all the potential matches think that I would not make a good homemaker because I am educated. This has happened numerous times, and I'm honestly tired of it," says Priya, 31.

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How does one deal with the stress of marriage?

Sure, an environment where everything suddenly revolves around marriage can get nerve-wracking at a certain point, but there are several ways in which one can cope with it and safeguard their mental and emotional peace.

Communicate with family and friends

If pressure from friends and family is getting a little too much to handle, sit down and have a good talking session with them. Communicate with your family that the constant nagging doesn't work well for you or affects your mental health. With friends, you can talk about how a marriage should not come between you and your friendship barometer.

Understand what your goals are

To get married or not to get married is the question. For some people, marriage may be a goal after a certain age, but many would want to do more. Like travelling or going for higher studies. Learn what your goals are so that the noise around you doesn't affect you in any way.

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Be confident in your life choices

Whatever choices you are making in your life, which may or may not be related to marriage, don't doubt them due to pressure. "Celebrate life choices, prioritise your career, spend more time with yourself or other relationships, exploring more before choosing one or any of your reasons," adds Pathak.

Do not rush

The mental and social pressures may be burdening you with many reasons to go for it, but marriage is a lifelong commitment. Nobody should jump into it just because everyone else is. Pausing and understanding what kind of life partner you want and what you expect from them for lifelong happiness will make for a better future.

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While there are many reasons to succumb to the pressures of social media and society, it is critical to understand that one must prioritise oneself and focus on personal growth and fulfilment outside of societal marriage expectations.