Expert Shares Insights On Identifying, Coping With, And Supporting Kids with Anxiety

If you talk about mental health disorders, one that has become much too common is the presence of anxiety in a person's life. Anxiety has been affecting millions of people worldwide and continues to grow with the daily stresses that take over our lives. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), anxiety disorders are the most common mental health disorders worldwide, with an estimated 275 million people affected.

Anxiety affecting children

But while anxiety has been affecting millions of adults, it is becoming increasingly common among children and adolescents. Aruna Agarwal, a qualified child psychologist/behaviour therapist says, "It is common for children to feel scared sometimes. The fears they experience vary from case to case and can change as they grow. But often, this fear persists for a long time, too, for situations or objects that don¡¯t pose a threat. For example, many children are found to have stage fear. Parents might think that if they are terrified of performing or public speaking, it is ideal to keep them away from such activities. Well, not really. This shielding and sense of anxiety will prevent them from reaching their full potential. They can even develop issues in social interactions, home life, and school."

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Why is anxiety affecting children nowadays?

There are several reasons why children nowadays are becoming much more anxious than they used to be:

A stressful life event

What may be normal for an adult may be a huge change for a child. Life changes such as moving, changing schools, or the loss of a loved one can be stressful for children and contribute to the development of anxiety. Children may feel uncertain or overwhelmed by these changes, leading to anxiety.

The environment around them

It is often said how important it is for children to have a nice and calm environment while growing up. It is necessary because they pick up things from the environment quite easily. A lot of stress, conflict, or instability in the home environment can increase the risk of anxiety in children. This can include exposure to arguments or violence between family members, financial stress, or parental substance abuse.

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Due to trauma

While a child needs a happy and nurtured environment, one can not control any bad event around them. Witnessing or experiencing a traumatic event, such as abuse, violence, or a natural disaster, can lead to anxiety. Traumatic experiences can cause children to feel overwhelmed and unsafe, leading to persistent feelings of anxiety even after the event has passed.

Genetics

Just like many physical ailments, mental disorders can also be passed down from generation to generation. A child can develop anxiety if they have a family history of anxiety or other mental health conditions. This suggests that there may be a genetic component to anxiety and that children who inherit certain genetic factors may be more vulnerable to developing anxiety.

Unparent like behaviour

There are different kinds of parents and parenting styles. While there are some parents who are overly controlling, there are other kinds of parents who just don't care enough for them. Both of these situations are confusing and pressuring for the children leading them to anxiety about either being hyper-independent or becoming extremely co-dependent.

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How can a parent help their child in coping with anxiety?

Parents have a crucial role when it comes to helping their children manage anxiety. Psychologist Aruna Agarwal adds, "As a parent, how you empathize with your child¡¯s anxiety will make a huge difference in how they cope with anxious feelings. Studies have shown that a parent¡¯s participation in their child¡¯s treatment can help bring their anxiety under control. Parents are better positioned to offer support, as children naturally depend on them for emotional support and reassurance."

The child psychologist provides four very insightful ways parents can help their children cope with anxiety:

Validate Your Child¡¯s Feelings

When your child complains of feeling uneasy or scared, our natural response can be to say things like, ¡°Don¡¯t be scared; you are safe here¡± or ¡°Oh, you are overthinking; there is nothing to worry about.¡± Such responses will likely make your child feel that their feelings are false. Instead, acknowledge their feelings by saying, ¡°I understand you are nervous right now. I would be nervous, too, if I were in your position¡±. This sends a message that their feelings are valid and that they can overcome them with time. In such cases, your choice of words can make a massive difference. So, ensure you are using words of encouragement and assurance instead of belittling their fears.

Teach Self-Soothing Tactics

While parents can supervise children every now and then, it is practically impossible and unhealthy to be around them 24X7. Thus, it is essential to teach them some quick and easy techniques they can use when they feel anxious. You can ask young children to spot and gather five objects in their favourite colour. This will distract them from their original feeling and help them divert their attention to finding things in a colour they prefer. Alternatively, you can ask them to count from 1 to 100 and then do reverse counting. A slightly older kid could be taught to journal their feelings daily. This is an excellent trick to process emotions and cope with anxiety symptoms. Most importantly, let your child know they can approach you whenever they need help.

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Differentiate Between Anxiety, Worry, and Stress

Though a medical condition, let your child know that the core purpose of anxiety is to function as a warning signal against dangerous situations and keep us safe. For example, if they were chased by a dog on the street, their brain would function as an alarm and caution their body that danger lurks ahead. Consequently, they will instantly notice changes in their body ¨C like an increased heart rate, sweaty face and palms, and body shivers. This will trigger an instant rush of energy in their system, causing them to run away from the dog as swiftly as possible. While this may be a real-life situation, there are also times when the brain releases a false alarm. This means the dog could be friendly and not pose a threat, but the brain tricks it into feeling fearful. Half the battle won is knowing how to distinguish between false alarms and natural threats. Here is where parents can help and intervene.

Identify Anxiety Triggers

Recognizing your child¡¯s anxiety triggers is essential to help them manage their response and change their thinking patterns and beliefs. For example, if anxiety is triggered when your child has to attend a family gathering, identify why they feel the way they do and then encourage them to face their fears. Create a bravery ladder and allow your child to take one step at a time. Start with introducing them to a smaller group, preferably one that includes kids of their age group. Once they show comfort and confidence to hang out in this group, go a step further and allow them to meet a larger group and add some new people each time. Also, you can slowly and gradually move them from a known environment to an unknown one. Notice their reactions and behaviours while doing so and provide positive reassurance constantly so the child feels more confident. This helps the child adjust faster, and gradually their anxiousness decreases.

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One needs to remember that every child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. It's important for parents to be patient and flexible in their approach, and to work with their children to find the strategies that work best for them.