Friend or foe? 6 signs to spot a toxic BFF and how to step away from them

Friends are one of the important people in our lives, at least the good ones are. But what if you start getting the feeling that your 'friend' may not have your best interest at heart? Such relationships and people can be detrimental to your psyche. If you are wondering whether your friend has really turned toxic, then keep reading to learn 6 signs that can help you recognize a toxic friendship and how you can end one.

Also Read: 11 signs you are sabotaging your relationship & how to stop

Signs your friendship has turned toxic

1) All conversations are just about them and they're uninterested in your life

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You need to be wary of a friend if they have the desire to be the star of all your conversations or if they only pop up in your life when they need something from you. For instance, they are more than happy to spend hours talking if the conversation is about them or they need some advice from you with just a half-hearted attempt to know what is up with you or they seem to be busy as soon as you start to talk about yourself, then you need to stop giving them your time.

2) They want all your attention

If your 'friend' is trying to guilt you for wanting to spend time with other people in your life then they are not really your friend. If your friend feels jealous or frustrated by your other friends or they never want you to spend time with other important people in your life without giving a valid reason other than them wanting all your time and attention then you are surely in a toxic relationship that you need to step away from right away.

3) They do not respect your boundaries

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Any healthy friendship is built on a foundation of trust and mutual respect. If your friend is trying to push your boundaries in the name of being close then in reality they are taking advantage of you. If your friend pushes you to do something that you are not comfortable doing simply to benefit themselves, it is a clear sign they are not your true friend who has your welfare on their mind.

4) They never make the effort

A healthy friendship requires equal time and effort from both parties. This equilibrium is thrown off in toxic friendships, though. If you realise that you are always the one organising meet-ups, or you are the only one to keep up with the happenings of their life, making the effort of regular calls and are not on the receiving end of the same or you get little support or recognition for going the extra mile, chances are you are in a toxic friendship.

5) They're too competitive with you

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While being competitive with others is human nature, but the mark of a good friend is that they are equally happy and proud of your accomplishments than they are of their own. If you notice them being constantly jealous of you are they keep pointing out how they are doing better in their lives than you, it is best to step aside and re-evaluate your friendship.

6) They're unreliable or untrustworthy

If you find yourself shying away from telling things to your friend with the fear of them not keeping your personal stuff to themselves then that is not just your paranoia. That fear is usually borne out of their incapability to be dependable or their being shifty with your information. If you feel that you cannot rely on your friend to keep your secrets or to be there for you in your time of need, then you should probably establish some distance.

Also Read: 9 ways to add intimacy in your long-term boring relationship

How to end a toxic friendship

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If your friend no longer feels supportive or you end up feeling drained after talking or spending time with your friend then you need to make some changes right away. The first step is to confront your friend about your feelings. Be direct and patiently explain to them and try to judge their response without any prejudice. If you feel they are genuinely remorseful of their actions, it may be okay to give them another chance.

But on the other hand, if they seem dismissive of your feelings then you need to immediately establish some boundaries. Be clear and firmly explain your decision to them and do not let their reaction weaken your resolve. It is crucial for your well-being to then decrease contact with your toxic friend and open up to other more meaningful relationships in your life.

While we understand how challenging and disheartening losing a friend is, in this scenario, think of it as somewhat of a necessary evil. However difficult you may find this process, it is important to stick to your decision as ending a toxic friendship is ultimately better for you in the long run.

Also Read: How to make friends at work and why they are important

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