How To Talk To Your Parents About Your Relationship & Not Make A Total Mess Of It

If you and your partner have blissfully managed to survive all the complications of dating in the modern era, congratulations.

Clearly, your partner has managed to charm your friends, impress your colleagues and bond with your siblings. Naturally now they are ready to meet your real bosses: your parents.

But before you make your parents meet your partner you need to first talk to them about the existence of a significant other in your life.

Because let¡¯s be real, 90 per cent of Indian parents don¡¯t know about our 'happening' dating life and if they do, they've not talked to us about it. So, how do you go about telling your family about your relationship?

Here are some tips on how to navigate this tricky topic.

1. The conversation should happen face to face.

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While phone conversations with parents are great, you breaking the news about your partner on the phone is not a great idea. This conversation needs to happen face to face. The problem with having a conversation about your new partner over the phone is that it's nearly impossible for both parties to express everything they're feeling. As tough as it is, talking directly to your family will elicit the most empathy and give you the best results.

2. Set some boundaries.

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When you decide to tell your family about your relationship, it¡¯s wise to prepare a narrative with a clear-cut beginning, middle, and end. This will help you tell your parents everything in a much more controlled manner. This will also give the impression to your parents that you are serious about this relationship.

3. The conversation can¡¯t take place at home.

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For the big reveal, we think a dinner is a safe bet, or even meeting in a neutral setting like a local coffee shop. This is because you and your parents should have equal ownership of the place in order to be able to speak safely without the fear of judgement.

4. Make it a 'parents only' meeting.

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You know your relationship is serious from the minute you decided to tell your parents about it. It¡¯s advisable to keep stress to a minimum by sticking to just including the parents for this initial discussion. Telling your uncles, aunts, and cousins can probably wait until you¡¯re more confident or less overwhelmed depending on your parent¡¯s reactions.

5. Explain to your parents what your partner means to you.

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Before the conversation takes place with your parents, you should ask yourself: What does this person do for me? You might say that "this person loves me for my ambition" (like Nick Jonas told Priyanka Chopra). You might say that "this person is there for me to lean on in tough times." Once you have it sorted in your head, explain to your parents why you chose to bring this person into your life. It's much harder for your family to not like someone who makes you feel good about yourself.

6. Honesty remains the best policy.

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The whole point of this conversation is to be honest with your parents about what you want. So don¡¯t try to come up with a story that will impress them. Be real and dead honest about what you want because families often prove themselves to be more supportive than you give them credit for.

7. Be prepared for a lot of questions.

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In an ideal world, you and your family will have this discussion for 15 minutes and move on with your lives. But in the real world, this conversation might be followed by more conversations yet because your future is always going to be a concern for your parents. So, it¡¯s only fair to give them a reasonable amount of time to get to know and warm up to your partner. So prepare to have more conversations like these.

The bottom line? There's a reason you fell for your partner, and most of the time, and your parents will see those great qualities in them too. Just take a deep breath, smile, and put your best foot forward. Good luck!