You're In A Toxic & Abusive Relationship If These 11 Things Are Common For You
Love shouldn't hurt.
Love has always had a reputation of distracting you to the extent that you can¡¯t think clearly. And it is a wonderful feeling, even this distraction. However, there are some cases where it is plain toxic and also acts as an obstacle that doesn¡¯t let you live your life to the fullest. This is called an abusive relationship. Moreover, the abuse isn¡¯t always physical. It could be emotional and mental in nature, which makes it even harder to identify if your relationship is abusive.
While the acceptance that you¡¯re living a toxic relationship is never easy, here are 11 signs that will help you to identify if you need to let go:
1. Your partner is excessively possessive about you
You¡¯re possessive about the people you love but when this possessiveness is too much to handle and forces you to change your life against your will, its an abuse. It could range from cutting contact with friends from the other gender to quitting a job because your partner doesn¡¯t like certain colleagues. Leave while you still have the chance to.
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2. If your partner is extremely controlling
When your partner becomes excessively controlling, it's a red flag. If they want you to inform them about your whereabouts every fifteen minutes, tell you they won¡¯t ¡®allow¡¯ you to do something and constantly ask you to prove your loyalty, you know it is turning sour.
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3. Your're losing touch with all friends and family
Your partner doesn¡¯t just not like anyone out of your friends and family but also asks you to cut contact with them. This is not normal. An abusive partner does this in order to isolate you from people. Hence, when you need help, there is no one you can go to, making sure you always stick with them.
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4. Forces you to share your passwords
If you feel comfortable sharing passwords with each other, it's a good understanding. But if your partner has been forcing you to share your social media passwords with them, it is never a good sign. This isn¡¯t a way to build trust.
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5. Verbal abuse is pretty common
Your partner constantly demeans you and/or verbally abuses you. You might not make much of it in the beginning because it¡¯s just some mean words, right? But over time, it will affect your self-worth. You will stop looking to get out of the relationship because in your head, who is going to be with such a flawed person like you? This will have long-term implications on your self-worth, something you can avoid by leaving such a relationship.
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6. Never admitting their fault
Never admitting that something in the relationship is their fault is also a sign of abuse. It means that your partner isn¡¯t ready to see their mistakes and given that all humans do make mistakes, this will eventually make you feel emotionally uncomfortable. If your partner isn¡¯t making any effort to run the relationship, it is only a one-sided affair. For how long can you shoulder the weight of all the mistakes in the relationship?
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7. Your partner keeps picking fights
If your partner is hypersensitive about things, know that it isn¡¯t going to work out. If they get annoyed too easily, feel insulted over healthy humour or go out of their way to feel offended, there is no saving the relationship. They will keep picking fights with you over how you made them feel horrible and it will turn into a rather hostile situation.
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8. No emotional stability
You feel like there is no emotional stability in your relationship because your partner is loving one day but becomes distant the next day. This obviously messes up with your head and makes you overthink the reason for this. You shouldn¡¯t have to constantly think about the stability of your relationship.
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9. Your partner gaslights you constantly
If they constantly gaslight you by invalidating your feelings and making you question your own sanity, then it means he/she not only does not recognise how you feel but is also using psychological means to convince that you¡¯re on the brink of craziness. Things like ¡®You don¡¯t remember it correctly¡¯ or ¡®This is not how it happened¡¯ all signal to the fact that your partner is trying to distort reality for you, making you self-doubt. Leave such a person immediately.
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10. Threatens to commit suicide or self-harm
If your partner threatens you with something drastic like leaking personal images or suicide when you talk about a breakup, know that their love isn¡¯t love but a sick kind of obsession. Threatening your partner is never alright and is used in situations of emotional abuse by the abuser who thinks they¡¯re losing control over their partner.
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11. They physically abuse you
Physical abuse is very serious and it does happen. Needless to say, if this has been the reality of your relationship, leave immediately. The possessiveness has turned into obsession at this point and it would be a good point to remember that people who love you, don¡¯t hurt you.
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