#377 One Year On, ¡®We Are Light Years Away From Normalcy, Only Allowed The Right To Have Sex¡¯

Asserting that the scrapping of Article 377 that criminalised homosexuality only allowed the right to have sex, author-activist Sharif D Rangnekar, who published a highly acclaimed autobiography of a gay man ¡°Straight to Normal¡± in January this year says that the people of the LGBTQIA+ community are almost light years away from ¡®normalcy¡¯.

Rangnekar, whose memoir is about accepting his sexuality and coming to terms with a society that is increasingly homophobic, contended that September 6 didn¡¯t make as much of a difference to him than to a younger lot as he had lived many years as a ¡®criminal¡¯ in our nation.

¡°I had seen the brief freedom of 2009 and now this. It was a sense of relief that we can speak more openly and engage with larger numbers on our rights,¡± he told Indiatimes in an interview ahead of the first anniversary of the landmark verdict that held Sexual orientation as a natural phenomenon determined by biology and science and ruled any discrimination on this basis as unconstitutional.

Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code was partially scrapped by the Supreme Court on September 6, 2018.

¡°Rights on healthcare, inheritance and marriage or civil unions seems far off. We don¡¯t have laws against discrimination that protects us at school, university, the workplace or elsewhere. One of the judges in the order suggested a concerted campaign by the government to sensitise people.

¡°That hasn¡¯t happened at the central or state level. So we continue to be a stigma in society facing an increased number of hate crimes which continue to go unreported,¡± he shared.

There has been a special moment in his life when his mother walked into his room and asked about his plans of writing a book, before urging him to write as honest a story as he could. He had made several attempts in the past to put words to his thoughts but something would prevent him from coming out openly once the anger was spilled out on paper.

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Asked then about the bond with his mother and what degree of difference has it brought in his life, battles and in his ability to be him, Rangnekar said she has been a pillar of strength through and through.

¡°Her ability to be the mother who cares, is concerned and a support through ups and downs is what defines how important she is. Things are so normalised that she does wish to see me settled, quietly assesses men who come over and makes her own suggestions on the kind of person I should be. Coming out to her was a critical moment in my life and being accepted was even bigger,¡± he quipped.

So are there some things that parents of 'normal' people should keep in mind if they were to discover that their child wasn't 'straight'?

Rangnekar disagrees. He says whether a child is ¡®Straight¡¯ or ¡®gay¡¯ should really not matter. What matters is how strong is the bond between parents and children, how open are parents with their children and what do they talk about at home.

Courtesy: Rupa Publications India

¡°I find and believe that families who talk a lot amongst themselves, have fun with their children, open their home to their children¡¯s friends are families that can create an Ecosystem of friendship and understanding. I believe if parents open their children¡¯s minds to different stories in books and cinema and make it a point to have at least one meal together discussing a day gone by, is the family that most likely will see the many dimensions of a child and not just their orientation. So to me it¡¯s a matter of parenting and not just about being straight or gay,¡± he maintained.

However, Rangnekar feels that being rejected at home is like the home isn¡¯t yours anymore.

¡°You are almost like an outsider. It can lead the child to run away to an unsafe space, turn to drugs or alcohol or even commit suicide. But if you have that home, the sense of safety with your family, you kind of have the whole world with you because that¡¯s your strength and part of you and allows you to grow and flower ¡®normally¡¯.

"In my case, the safety at home and acceptance by my mother, brothers and their wives, gave me a large support where I could share my secrets, my infatuations and disappointments. It gave me strength as I could open the doors of my home to many of my community and lovers giving me so many hours of normalcy in an otherwise hostile world,¡± he said.