How An Abusive Relationship Transformed This Maharashtra Woman Into A Lawyer Who Now Helps Other Women

Even today, millions of women in India are silent victims of of domestic abuse. Their silence can be attributed to a number of factors including lack of support from the family, financial security and the stigma attached to being a divorced woman.

The story of Vandana Shah, who is currently a leading lawyer in Mumbai, was no different.

For Vandana, life was all rosy and good. She was born in a reputed family, had good education, got married into a wealthy business family, and her life was well on track. At least that is what she thought.

But everything came crumbling down in a few years, after she realised that the marriage wasn't going as she wished and she began farming abuses. In 2000, her husband filed for a divorce, and she was thrown out of her in-laws house with just Rs 750 in her bank account and dark future staring at her.

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Vandana who had Bachelor's Degree in Psychology and a diploma in advertising had just began working before she got married into a business family who felt that she should focus on the household or take up a teaching job as they didn't feel that ad industry was not meant for women.

"I think for me the starting point was the divorce, which took almost 10 years for the verdict. At that time I did not have any money or support to fight the case, nor did I have any understanding of the law. But I had no choice, I had to fight this on my own. That is how I began my journey in this new path hoping that it will lead to something better," Vandana recalled.

As she was fighting her divorce case Vandana realized that there are a lot of women out there in the society, facing similar hardships as what she is going through.

"Almost two years into my divorce case, I founded 360 Degrees Back to Life, the first support group in India to help people going through a divorce. It is non-judgmental and had both men and women who needed support and not being judged. Initially it was supposed to be a forum where everyone came together discussed their problems and listened to others. But later we realized that how important the legal aid is and we came together, to pool in our resources to provide free legal aid and counselling," she said.

Even as she was fighting her case in the court, Vandana said she realized how important it was her ro be educated legally. That is how she decided to enroll herself as a law student

All this while, Vandhan was supporting herself with the small income that she was getting, working for an NGO as she couldn't get back into the ad industry other than doing some freelance writing jobs.

In the meantime, in 2008 she also got her first book published. The book titled '360 Degrees Back to Life: A Litigant's Humorous Perspective on Divorce' is a humorous take on what she went through and the experiences she heard from others in the support group.

"As I was going through my divorce process, I had two choices. Either I could look at it and cry for the rest of my life, thinking that my life is over, or I could move on and try to find something positive out of it, and find some humor in it. For me humor was an escape from the lengthy tiring court battles," Vandhana said.

The book found critical acclaim both in India and abroad which she said helped to boost her confidence.

"Before the book came out the message that I used to get from everyone was that, Vandana, your marriage has failed, you are a failure. But after the book was published, it changed. People began telling me that Vandana, your marriage might have been a failure, but you are not. The royalty I got from the book also helped me paying by college fees," she said.

She also participated in the Times Of India, Lead India Programme from Mumbai in 2010.

Vandana completed her LLB and enrolled herself as a lawyer, and specialised in divorce cases, helping women get out of abusive relationships, keeping her own personal experience in mind.

She also got her second book 'The Ex-Files: The Story of My Divorce' published in 2014 by Penguin Books.

Based on her own personal experience and the hundreds of cases she has fought till now, Vandana says it is not worth to be in an abusive relationship.

"When you are in an abusive relationship, you need to get out. There is no point in staying in an abusive relationship thinking that how will the society look at a divorced woman. The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, it will only demoralize you," she said.

She also stressed on the importance of the support of the family and friends both financially and emotionally when one is going through a divorce.

Admitting that it is not easy, Vandana who now also runs an app which gives free legal aid to those wanting divorce said, it is worth the pain and efforts so that one can live their life, than seeing their dreams crushed.