UP Is Launching Ambulances For Cows, Even As Lakhs Await Proper Medical Facilities In The State

Cows have ambulances. What do you have?

Keshav Prasad Maurya, Uttar Pradesh Deputy Chief Minister, flagged off five ambulances on Monday that will cater to cows. The 'Gauvansh Chikitsa Mobile Vans' service will see that all injured cows are rescued and given appropriate treatment at 'gaushalas' after they are taken there in the ambulances.

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Every ambulance will have a veterinarian doctor present along with an assistant. Also, a 'gauseva' toll-free number will also be put in place for locals to leave information about injured cows.

And here we are, wondering if the time is nigh to undergo a sex-change to resemble a cow? Wait, but we will still need an ambulance to take us to a hospital!

It really is a funny situation. Think about it.

With all the cows in the ambulances, the roads will be free of their herds and poop. And this is just the starting point.

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One day, women will birth cows - after the sex-change of course - instead of sons and daughters because then, finally, they will have a toll-free number to call an ambulance.

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It's all about pride. Imagine India setting benchmarks as a cow-loving-human-shunning country because that's the hope.

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Cows can run governments because we will all be dead by the time a human ambulance arrives.

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Cows will rule over cows, launch more cow ambulances to rescue injured cows, take them to a cow hospital, and have them treated by cows.

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The dawn of the cows will make other animals migrate to neighbouring countries.

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And when the world comes to an end, the cows will simply moo their way to the other side, to greener pastures.

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Holy cow, holier than thou.