An Elderly Couple In Chandigarh Adopts A Trans Couple, Their Serendipitous Story Will Touch Your Heart!

(Trigger warning: This story has details of mental, physical, and sexual assault, which could be triggering for some readers.)

"Log alag ko galat samajhte hain...Badlaav aayega..but 100 saal aur lagenge" (People think different means wrong. A change will come, but it'll take decades.", says Dhananjay Chauhan, a transgender rights activist from Chandigarh.

After years of humiliation and facing abuse by her own family and society, Dhananjay, a trans woman, found her new set of parents who love and accept her for who she is.

Nonagenarians living in sector 30 of Chandigarh opened their doors of heart and home to adopt Dhananjay and her partner Rudra.

(Indiatimes)

Contrary to stereotypical notions around adoptions in India, the Chahal family, who lives in Chandigarh has set an exceptional example of compassion and humanity.

Shamsher, 93, and her husband, advocate Darbara Singh Chahal, 95, welcomed their third daughter Dhananjay and her partner Rudra Pratap Singh, a trans man.

Indiatimes

Mr. and Mrs. Chahal have two daughters ¨C Kathak expert Samira Kosar and America-based gynecologist Dr. Mamta Chahal, who motivated them to adopt.

Instagram/Indiatimes

Talking to Indiatimes, Dhananjay could not stop raving about her 'Mummy Papa.'

"Rudra and I couldn't have been more grateful. It doesn't feel like we have been adopted. We are very close. There is a lot of mutual love between all of us. They care for us, and we are so lucky we have found our parents. Once, it was way past midnight, and they waited for us to return home. We are so attached to them now. We have our food together and spend all our happy and sad moments together. I have connected with their daughters, and their kids call me 'Maasi.' "

Dhananjay shared and spoke about her life and decades of struggle to get accepted into society.

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Talking about the reality of how her community still struggles to get accepted, Dhananjay said, "In 2014, in a massive victory for India's roughly half a million trans individuals, the Supreme Court recognized transgender as a third, separate identity. It was ruled that Indians had the right to choose their gender. But did it make things better? Sadly, things are yet to improve."

Dhananjay is a transgender rights activist and the first transgender student of Punjab University. She now encourages education among the LGBTQ community. She adds,

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"Log alag ko galat samajhte hain...Badlaav aayega..but 100 saal aur lagenge.Even after the 2014 judgment when we were declared the third gender- we were supposed to get equal rights-equal opportunities, but nothing happened. It's been eight years, and we are still looked down upon by society. The government has still not done anything. The discrimination continues. People still don't see us as equals. They still don¡¯t give us houses for rent or welcome us to their homes. We are still seen as beggars."

"Hume abhi bhi achi nazron sey nahi dekha jaata." (We are still frowned upon by the society) She adds,

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"While we, as kinnars, are seen as someone who can give them 'dua,' they don't believe in respecting us. They demand 'dua' from us but dua mein hume koi nahi maangta. Parents bhi nikaal dete hain- people suggest conversion therapy. Imagine, there is still no ban on conversion therapy in India. When we enter a restaurant or a showroom, people see us and assume we are beggars and mistreat us thinking we won't even pay after using their services or eating their food."

Dhananjay says even educated people in India are ignorant about the basic concept of gender and sexuality. According to her, people in India spend money on education only to get degrees and jobs. She adds,

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"People are literate but are not educated. They still have misconceptions related to gender identity and sexuality. There are ingrained biases in people against us. In India, people study to get jobs and earn money. They rarely want to educate themselves. People need to understand diversity and that people can be different. Educated people still understand the basic concept of gender identity and sexuality. Log alag ko galat samajhte hain...Badlaav aayega..but 100 saal aur lagenge"

Sharing her initial years of accepting her sexuality, Dhananjay said she was raped twice.

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"In 1989, I used to learn Kathak from Samira Didi. Back then, I was a boy. However, when I finally realized I wanted to be a woman, I had to leave my dance and college. I faced discrimination from my own family. Even though I was a university topper, I had to leave as I was ragged and bullied. I couldn't study after my BA. The worst happened to me in 2002. Some boys kidnapped me from Chandigarh and took me to Ambala. After raping me, they left me at the Ambala bus stand. Somehow I managed to get back to Chandigarh. Police never registered a complaint. In 2004, I was again gang-raped by eight people. After raping me, they urinated on me. I wanted to give up after facing sexual, mental, and physical abuse for years. I even attempted suicide, but somehow, I got saved. That's when I decided to fight back."

Talking about the initial years of fighting for the rights of her community, she said,

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"In 2009, I started my own NGO and started working for transgender rights. In 2012, we started working on a national level. In 2015 I changed all my ID Cards from male to transgender; in 2016, I enrolled at Punjab University as the first transgender person. I chose the same university and did my MA in the same subject. I still faced discrimination as there was no washroom for trans people. I fought for a separate washroom and got one built. These were my struggles, but I chose not to give up."

Sharing her serendipitous tale of adoption, Dhananjay said,

Indiatimes

"I used to live in a slum area with my partner Rudra. I used to beg to make ends meet. I reconnected with my old Kathak teacher, Samira Kosar didi, during the lockdown. She was the one who used to teach me Kathak when I was a boy. She couldn't recognize me initially, but she realized I was her former student after hearing my story. After we reconnected, she invited me home. She shared my life's story with her parents. Samira didi and her sister Mamta, who lives in the US, inspired their parents to adopt us. Everything kept falling into place, and here we are, living with my parents."

Dhananjay, who is happy that she finally has a home she can call her own, says the best part about getting a new family is feeling loved, heard, and accepted. She concludes by saying,

"Even before we moved in with mummy-papa, I used to meet them every day. We started building a rapport. We wanted to be transparent. We have always faced humiliation from our own families and society. When the time was right, and things fell into place, we moved in with them. All we need is love and affection, and that's exactly what we found. We found acceptance, loved, and heard; this is our home. That's all we ever craved for, and that's what we need."

This beautiful story of compassion, empathy, and resilience proves that we sometimes find 'our home' in people.

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