Valentine's Day 2025: Why do we fall in love? Experts say it isn't just a feeling¡ªit's brain chemistry

Are you in love or have you fallen in love before? Well, anyone who's ever been in love knows that matters of the heart can be complicated. But did you know that the science behind love is quite complex? If we say your love is not a feeling but a science, would you believe us? So on Valentine's Day, let's find out why we fall in love and what's the science behind it.

Love is a feeling that involves not only chemical reactions in the brain but also all five senses and their related body organs. "Love involves hormones like dopamine, which gives pleasure; oxytocin, which promotes bonding and trust; and serotonin, which regulates mood and social behaviour," explains Dr. Santosh Bangar, Senior Consultant Psychiatrist, Gleneagles Hospitals Parel Mumbai.

Love is a deep emotional connection between two people who swear to stay together through thick and thin. This connection goes beyond attraction and is built on understanding, trust, faith, and support. But what is the role of hormones when it comes to love?

Love is a hormonal game: How neurotransmitters play in the process of falling in love

Love is when you accept your partner for who they are and make them feel safe and valued. Both partners are equally responsible for trying to sustain this relationship through tough times. It is not just about trying to be perfect but accepting each other's flaws and imperfections.

Love grows and flourishes when both partners communicate openly, respect each other's feelings, and make continuous efforts to understand one another. On the other hand, dopamine, which is a 'pleasure chemical,' is known to create excitement and joy and make one love feel rewarding. Dr. Anand Ram, a consultant interventional cardiologist at Wockhardt Hospitals Mira Road, says, ¡°Dopamine is released when someone is in love. Oxytocin is a 'bonding hormone that strengthens emotional connections and trust. Adrenaline is known to increase heart rate, causing the rush and nervousness that is felt around someone special.¡±

Serotonin levels may drop when one tends to think of his/her loved one every time. ¡°These chemicals work together to create attraction, attachment, and deep emotional bonds. While love is magical, it is a properly coordinated process within the brain and heart that influences emotions and well-being,¡± he adds.

Did you know? Genetic makeup influences who we are attracted to and impacts long-term relationship success

If we talk about the science behind getting attracted to someone, then you must know that our genetics also play a vital role in this. According to Dr. Bangar, ¡°The genetic makeup plays a crucial role in getting attracted to someone with the influence of immune system compatibility and personality traits. However, one needs to understand that long-term relations are not just about mere attraction.¡±

What truly matters in a relationship is how well you two communicate as partners, support each other, and navigate through the ups and downs together. Love lasts longer when there is trust, mutual respect, and also understanding that goes beyond genetic makeup.

One's childhood experiences and attachment styles will have a huge influence on forming romantic bonds in later life. ¡°One's early childhood experiences shape how he/she connects with others, especially in romantic relationships. If one feels safe and loved as a child, he/she can form and maintain healthy bonds. However, if there is neglect or inconsistency, one may struggle with intimacy, fear rejection, or become overly dependent on the other person,¡± says Dr. Ram.

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