Dad Slams 'BS Gender Norms' & 'Toxic Masculinity' After Son Gets Bullied For Wearing Nail Paint
Pink is for girls and blue is for boys. Not.
This kind of imagined gender norm has torn through our social fabric for a long time. The worst consequence of this stereotype is the bullying innocent children face at school. More recently, a 5-year-old boy named Sam Gouveia was bullied at school for painting his nails.
This is my son, Sam. He¡¯s 5. And today he learned how shitty and harmful #ToxicMasculinity is. My rage meter is spiking right now so excuse me if this is a little raw but there are some things I want to say about BS #gender norms (a thread) pic.twitter.com/NtoE2VHKsU
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
The boy's father who was left miffed with incident shared a moving Twitter thread in which he wrote, "He called me at work, his words barely decipherable through the sobs."
"I told him nothing those kids say matters. That his nails are BADASS! And the only thing that matters is whether he likes his nails. And then my heart broke¡¡±
Soon after the incident his big brother and his dad decided to paint their nails too. Take a look at the moving Twitter thread below:
#1
Sam is my middle child & he¡¯s a terror. A ¡°boy¡¯s boy¡± as so many (not me) would say. He¡¯s rough and tumble, he¡¯s loud, he¡¯s always dirty, loves trucks, plays sports and knee drops me from the couch. But he also loves a lot of ¡°girl¡± things.
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
Sam has a collection of purses because he likes to carry things around. And he also loves to have his nails painted bright colors because he thinks they ¡°look beautiful.¡± And he¡¯s right ¨C they are beautiful¡ pic.twitter.com/tdMdpJZH5w
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
So he proudly wore his red nail polish to kindergarten this morning because Sam has absolutely no concept of nail polish only being for girls or reason to think anyone would possibly have a problem with beautiful nails. pic.twitter.com/WsHHupgw9H
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
But his classmates did have a problem. A big one. Sam was ridiculed for being a boy with nail polish. They called him names and told him to take it off. This lasted the entire day.
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
When my wife picked him up from school he collapsed into her arms and cried uncontrollably. He was devastated at how other kids turned on him, even his friends. He asked them to stop but that just made it worse. Only 1 kid stood up for him.
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
He called me at work, his words barely decipherable through the sobs, and I told him nothing those kids say matters. That his nails are BADASS! And the only thing that matters is whether he likes his nails. And then my heart broke¡
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
My son is far from perfect but he¡¯s got a huge heart and empathy for miles. He finds beauty in everything around him and for 5 years he¡¯s never been afraid to be different because different has never meant ¡°bad.¡± Until now.
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
Calling out other parents who propagate gender norms, he said, ¡°I know these kids are only in kindergarten but this toxic masculinity bullshit is LEARNED. Learned most of the time from parents. So parents, I hope you¡¯re proud. I hope this is what you wanted. I hope you¡¯re satisfied.¡±
My wife and I spent five years successfully preaching tolerance, acceptance, and the importance of expression and your kids unraveled that in one school day. He now feels the shame you desperately want to associate with being different.
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
After careful consideration, he¡¯s leaving it on. Because he likes it and it makes him feel good. Then Sam¡¯s 10-year-old brother painted HIS nails in solidarity with his sibling, at which point I nearly cried.
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
That moved me to paint MY nails. Sam picked out this color called ¡°Main Squeeze¡± & I think it¡¯s understated but lovely. Sam is sticking with red because ¡°it¡¯s pretty and good luck for the @patriots.¡± #ItsOnlyWeirdIfItDoesntWork pic.twitter.com/KtuwldiEJw
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
Be brave and shine bright, my beautiful polished boy. Know that mom and dad always have your back and if the rest of the world has a problem with your nails, they can check out my nail polish! pic.twitter.com/fvjD2IZnNQ
¡ª Daddy Files (@DaddyFiles) 23 October 2018
who's that one, unnamed kid, the one that stood up for him? That behaviour needs some serious praise too!
¡ª Magnus Therning (@magthe) 24 October 2018
Even in kindergarten there is a short supply of bravery. But this terrible experience may help your son stand up for others when he is the only one. ?
¡ª Deb (@Deb77074743) 24 October 2018
The school needs to have a little talk with their students. First of all no harassing of anyone should be allowed that¡¯s called bullying and it¡¯s against the law.
¡ª Nancy R. Jones (@FancyNancy2018) 25 October 2018
