We have all heard the saying that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. The reason this saying is so famous is that men and women both work differently, both mentally and emotionally.?
While men are known to have the image of being "tough," women, on the other hand, are known to be "soft." Sure, there are numerous pieces of evidence demonstrating that men are physically tougher than women in many ways.??However, soft and tough are not only restricted to physical features and how much weight can be picked up by either of the parties; it has to do with emotional capacity.?
Divya Pathak, a counselling psychologist with an MA in psychology and a specialisation in counselling and therapeutics, shared some of her observations on how men react to various situations and how they perceive mental and emotional health."Men are less likely to receive or seek mental health care. Not just in formal care but also in terms of sharing and finding support among family and friends. It starts emerging from late childhood or early adolescence when gender norms start becoming stricter and more comprehensive."
She continued, "Men have this underlying feeling of the need to man up or uphold a tough self-image. Generally, they hold back from displaying emotions other than happiness or anger. Feelings like sadness, low mood, grief, loneliness are pushed deep down and occasionally become expressed as some form of rage."
Research at the Institut universitaire en sant¨¦ mentale de Montr¨¦al and the University of Montreal studied 46 healthy individuals to understand how men and women react to negative, positive, and neutral emotions. This study, titled "Sex differences in effective frontolimbic connectivity during negative emotion processing," demonstrated brain imaging and blood tests to check hormonal levels.
When brain imaging was performed, the functioning of the amygdala, which serves as the brain's threat detector, and the dmPFC, which serves as the cognitive function such as perception, reasoning, and emotional regulation, were detected. It was noticed that even though these functions were functional for both sexes, they were stronger in men. This basically meant that men are more analytical than emotional, especially with negative emotions. It was noted that women tend to focus more on feelings.?
While several studies and research may have shown how men are more analytical than emotional, there is a whole other aspect to why men behave the way they do. Counseling psychologist and co-founder of mental health services Yellow Epiphanies, Divya Pathak outlined several reasons why men may be conditioned to behave the way they do.
While this may not be the case with 100% of men, in general, they are known to be more assertive. Women, on the other hand, are said to be the opposite of that. This can be due to high testosterone or the social conditioning of how men and women are perceived differently. Men also have the tendency to either fix things or just avoid them. However, avoidance does not come from a place of negativity but from a place of ignorance.
"Man frequently say that they feel useless if they cannot do something to fix the problem. Many men I talked to attributed it to the role given to them by society. To put it straight, they are adhering to the societal norms of "how to behave masculine," added Pathak. Societal conditioning is also the reason why men don't tend to act upon their internal feelings. It is how, step by step, they are conditioned to act in a certain way. This is where the saying "men should not cry" or "men should not be working in the kitchen" comes to light. Men are systematically conditioned to not pay much heed to any emotional response.
When it comes to learning patterns, there are various ways in which, since childhood, a different environment has been presented to men and women. To start with toys, women are given dolls or kitchen sets that provide them with the idea that they should be nurturing. While men are provided with race cars, wrestling objects, and other things that may seem a little more aggressive, this gives them a rather assertive or competitive persona, so to speak. Their friendship patterns and other behaviours also give them a more rational approach to things. It is not a one-day thing. It is being constructed gradually.??
Men and mental health
Even when it comes to mental health, men and women experience it differently. Men are more restrictive when talking about their mental health, which again comes back to how they are less expressive and have fewer emotions in nature. However, as per a study by the National Institute of Mental Health, women are more likely to experience mental health conditions than men.
There are different factors that affect a man's mental health, and that too has to do with how society perceives him or how he thinks he is supposed to portray his role in society. There are traditional gender roles that make them not talk about mental health or how they feel as well.
As per Medical News Today, things such as being the breadwinner of the family, relying on oneself over others for assistance, and displaying "typically masculine" characteristics are also factors that impede a man's emotional capacity and mental health. They also tend to downplay the way they feel due to the constant narrative of how showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
While the way men react and express themselves has evolved over the years, it is important to note that things could change by providing a better narrative. Understanding the behaviour of both sexes is important. While women are more empathetic by nature, men must also understand the other sex. Opening up, not being reclusive, or choosing to avoid can be deemed as ways to put up a barrier. Restricting vulnerability could also create a rift, or rather, a distance, between both sexes.
Providing a nurturing and open environment since childhood by the family can be a game changer. Showing equality between a brother and sister, giving them both similar kinds of treatment and encouraging them to express how they feel without any judgements.
Despite certain behavioural patterns, the narratives are changing, and more modern men understand the importance of emotional and mental health.?