How To Build Emotional Intimacy For A Lasting & Healthy Relationship

For a healthy relationship, one needs to really work hard on all aspects to understand one another. However, to wonder what the foundation of a relationship is, one needs to really have a deep sense of vulnerability and trust with their partner. This is what is meant by emotional intimacy.

What is emotional intimacy?

Emotional intimacy is basically when you and your partner can share your fears, vulnerabilities, and thoughts without any fear of judgment. It is basically when you feel valued and loved by your partner despite the fact that they are aware of all your flaws and insecurities.This type of intimacy can lead to a greater sense of connection and satisfaction in a relationship.

However, it is important to know that it is not only a part of a romantic relationship but is needed in friendships and family relationships too.

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What are the signs of a lack of emotional intimacy between you and your partner?

Having emotional intimacy with your partner is a beautiful thing. Sadly, a lot of couples go through their relationships without experiencing them. Many couples feel like opening up about certain things to one another may even ruin the relationship. This can mean a lack of emotional intimacy. Here are a few things that also may indicate a lack of it:

You are not compatible with basic things

Compatibility may mean several different things. However, compatibility in this case is determined by major factors such as core principles and values shared by both parties. If you both don't have the same life principles and values intellectually, and the wavelength is off on many main aspects, this could mean that you and your partner lack compatibility.

You both constantly try to change each other

It is obviously not a bad thing to change a person's bad habits in order to improve their lives. This can include assisting them in transitioning from smokers to nonsmokers or assisting them in quitting alcohol. But loving your partner's personality and habits is something that is a necessity for a good relationship. If you love them the way they are past the honeymoon phase, then it surely is a match made in heaven. But if you constantly try to change their basic habits, including the way they eat, sleep, or even interact, then it is a problem.

You both are extremely co-dependent

Being in a relationship can entail doing and relying on your partner for a variety of tasks. This can also mean changing the way you used to live when you were single. But being completely dependent on your partner for basic things like eating, cooking, or even just going out is not a good idea. Keeping your individuality while being in a relationship is a must.

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You are scared to share your fears with them

The entire point of a relationship is to have someone to lean on during your life's highs and lows. But if you are going through a bad time in your life or if something is bothering you and you have to think twice before speaking about it to your partner, then that level of comfort and trust is not there in your relationship. That is extremely important for emotional intimacy.

You are not making each other better in any way

This is not a predominant factor, but if you both are not pushing each other to do better or to go for the things you individually are scared of doing, then this may mean that the relationship is not really doing anything positive for both partners.

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How to build emotional intimacy with your partner

There is no set formula that can help you build emotional intimacy with your partner. When you think about it, it's not even rocket science. Everybody develops it at their own pace and time. But here are some things that can be done to build emotional intimacy between partners:

Try things together

Sharing experiences like going on a vacation or trying bond-deepening activities like joining a class together could be really good for a relationship. This will not only bring you closer together, but it will also allow you to create memories that will last a lifetime. Not just that, it can be a common talking point at every point.

You share your true feelings

Being vulnerable is truly a courageous act. Not knowing if the person will understand your true feelings or judge you can be difficult. But being open and honest about your feelings is a key component of emotional intimacy. Doing so with your partner can build more trust and comfort between the two of you.

Always be empathetic

While sharing your thoughts and feelings can be a great step towards being open, you also need to know and learn to be on the other side of the spectrum. When your partner shares their fears with you, you have to learn to put yourself in their shoes and truly understand what they are going through. Validate their emotions and show that you understand how they feel.

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Be physically affectionate

Sure, physical intimacy is a whole different form of intimacy, but it can also help deepen your bond emotionally. Non-sexual forms of physical gestures such as holding hands, cuddling, or even just hugging each other can really help build a stronger emotional connection.

Communicate regularly

Taking out time, especially to talk to your partner, is a very important step to building that emotional connection. Every relationship definitely requires regular communication to get to know each other on a core level. So, taking a few minutes off every day to know about each other's day is extremely important.

Giving compliments

Everybody likes listening to nice things about each other. While many couples' compliments fade over time, many couples never develop the habit of complimenting each other. Even if it is a small thing, making sure to let your partner know about the things you love about them is a great way to bond emotionally.

Be each other's safe space

To be vulnerable with someone, a person must first feel seen and supported. So, if you are not providing a safe space or comfort for them to be open about their feelings, then things can't progress. Create a space that feels safe for your partner. Always let them know that you are there for them in their good and bad times and that you will not judge them no matter what happens.

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Just remember that emotional intimacy is not something that can be achieved in a day. It is a slow process that can depend on open communication. Working on different aspects of communication and feelings can help you and your partner build a better bond. Just be mindful and at least try to understand one another.