When people talk about going through different stages of life, you don't quite understand it until you start living it. In fact, the most obscure stage for a person is when they magically have to transform into adults.
Sure, you are living your best life in school, where you have people and friends all around you. Then comes college, where you pretty much live your best life and make the best of friends. Then comes a point when you start working, and of course, you meet new people and start to invest your time in them.
However, after you successfully complete your quarter life, things start to change drastically. Priorities change. People are more focused on what they want to do in life and how they want to get settled. While some try to find better life options outside of the city or even the country, others start to find a life partner to settle with.
This is when you start to find out how things have really changed. Your close friends have no time for you, and you are suddenly left with fewer options on the weekends. But here is the thing: how does one even make new friends as an adult when everyone around is getting settled?
Trust us, this is not something that you alone are dealing with. There are thousands of people going through the same stage and definitely going through the same inhibitions.
Clinical psychologist Linda Blair told the Guardian that making new friends as an adult can be difficult. She mentioned how making friends is more about sharing experiences. She mentioned how, when we are young and in the early stages of life¡ªin school and college¡ªshared experiences are in abundance. But once we start growing older, less and less of that starts to happen.
Adults may have a hard time making friends due to several reasons. This may include having more responsibilities, like taking care of your house, bills, work, groceries, or even family members.
Next, it could be due to tight schedules, which is quite common. But the next aspect is also quite common nowadays, and that is social anxiety or a person being an introvert. For both kinds of people, going out of their way to meet people is quite a task.
Social anxiety and introversion have also become quite common after the COVID-19 pandemic. People have become more isolated due to the fear of catching an infection, working from home, and participating in social distancing.
However, there are various ways an adult can try making new friends, and it is not as hard as one may think.
Yes, we have all heard how important it is to pursue one's interests. However, doing it with someone or a group of people can be equally enjoyable and absolutely great for making new friends. Thanks to technology, one can get to know about several workshops on different things happening all around the city. This can include pottery classes, painting, or even cooking. You can pick your favourite and enjoy the hobby while meeting a whole set of new people.
Sure, speaking to colleagues after work may sometimes feel like a nightmare. But hey, what if it is so much more fun? It is extremely easy to turn your work friend into a real friend until you keep a check on personal and professional boundaries. One of the best ways to change the dynamics of your relationship is through a change of scenery. If you are always meeting your work friend at the workplace, it may get difficult to open up. But if you meet them outside the work setting, such as going for a drink or watching a game together, your relationship may last much longer.
If you are meeting someone new, always make sure that you keep things on a positive note. It is always better to build an impactful relationship when you start things by trying to be positive about them and by trying to know them. If you are already complaining, a person may be hesitant to proceed with you.
However, trying to know more about them by making a small observation can go a long way. A 2012 study from Harvard University found that self-disclosure activates brain regions associated with reward, backing up what many of us already know to be true. People absolutely love talking about themselves. So, when someone politely inquires about personal matters, it almost always sparks a conversation.
Just like a lot of dating apps like Tinder, there are apps where you can make friends too. You'd be surprised at how many people you can meet and how much fun you can have after meeting them. This can also be less intimidating than other things since you can talk at your convenience.
If you are someone who believes in social work, volunteering is pretty much a gold mine for you. You can not only do good but also find people with similar interests. You can volunteer in several places, including a pet shelter, you can teach kids; you can help clean your city; and you can help the poor. After work, you can talk about your noble aspirations or just think of more fun things you can do together.
We all know how sports bring people together. So, joining a sports league, such as a cricket or football league, can introduce you to a whole bunch of new people. You can play with them, chill with them, and, well, after playing, hang out with them. The best thing about all this is that you can talk about your favourite sport or team literally all the time, and that will never be a topic you can get enough of.
So don't fret and get ready to make some new friends. It isn't as tough as you think it is.