We have all heard the famous statement that "men are from Mars and women are Venus." While obviously that is a hilarious way to state how different both genders are from each other, one might say that the practical distance between these two planets may actually be accurate in telling us how men and women are different when it comes to communication.
When it comes to romantic relationships, one can find several different videos and reels of how men and women should communicate with each other to understand one another better, and that is only because not just physically but also emotionally, the genders do function differently.?
According to B. Skinner Coaching and Psychotherapy, there are four different kinds of ways of communicating:
This kind of person tends to avoid expressing their feelings, opinions, and needs. Most of the time, they are not assertive enough and don't let people know about their boundaries. They tend to keep things inside, and when it keeps building up, they explode. However, they tend to feel guilty about the outburst and go back to being passive.
These people are loud, interrupt others, and tend to criticise others. They tend to not understand any boundaries when it comes to others, and most of the time they think about themselves.
These people try to talk about their issues in an indirect way, while they tend to think about themselves only. These people tend to feel powerless, and in anger, they don't go berserk but use subtle remarks like rolling their eyes or being sarcastic.
These people are calm and direct about what they want. They believe in clear communication and think about their own as well as their partner's feelings. Not just that, they respect other people's boundaries as well as let others know about their own.
Here are all the ways women and men communicate differently in a romantic relationship. However, none of it is necessarily bad.
You may call it a stereotype, or it may actually be a reality, but as per Dilshaad Khurana, Head Counsellor, MPower, women tend to be a lot more passive-aggressive and are a little indirect with communicating their thoughts. When it comes to men, they are more on-point and talk about things directly. However, according to Khurana, this can also be reversed based on knowledge and more exposure. One way this can be fixed is if both genders assume that neither of them can read the other's mind.
Let us get one thing very straight: when it comes to heart vs. brain, both actually win. According to Head Counselor Khurana, it is somewhat known that women tend to think more emotionally and even bring tears to the situation if things get a little tough, while men have more of a masculine approach. However, as per her, the gender roles are shifting, and a lot of men are actually much more emotional when it comes to expressing themselves. "My relationship with my boyfriend is quite unique, and I love it. He is not like one of those men who are cold. When we fight and things get intense, he does not feel that shedding tears is "against his masculinity." I love that about him," says 23-year-old Swati.
"As a woman myself, I know how true the fact is. Most women in general like to talk about things, especially when it comes to fixing problems or having an argument. They want to talk about deeply rooted issues and feelings, and they definitely want to hear the same from their partner. When that is not reciprocated or is not heard, women tend to feel misunderstood. I like talking about my day and knowing about my husband's day when I come back from the office. I have made sure to make it a point to go through this activity every day. Earlier, he was not able to open up much, but with time, I can see some improvement. I give myself credit," says 33-year-old Namrata.
"I have been living with my wife for the past five years. While I do obviously love her, there are times when I want some time to myself; after all, we share the same bedroom. I'm sure she wants the same too. So, when I come back from work and watch a match in the living room, it annoys my wife, and I honestly don't get it," says 33-year-old Nikhil.
While it may be a vast stereotype that it is just men who want space, women tend to want the same too. It just depends on the personality. A better way to do that is to sanction stipulated "me time" for both partners to enjoy their private space.
As per relationship experts and real-life couple Antia and Brody Boyd, non-verbal communication also speaks a lot about how men and women communicate with each other while men take up more space physically, like on a bed or a sofa, to show their territory. Women tend to take less space to indicate closer bonding. This may indicate the functioning of their relationship as well. It could be one of the factors in determining how both genders perceive the relationship.
Most of the time, men form bonds or talk to their other friends by pulling each other's leg or taking each other's side. They can be playful critics of each other, and that is how men generally are. When it comes to women, they shower each other with compliments and words of appreciation. Obviously, both of these ways are poles apart. But while appreciation in a relationship may be great for the partner, criticism and pulling legs may not be something that everyone enjoys. When this starts happening, it needs to be communicated. "My boyfriend and I banter a lot and pull each other's legs all the time. But sometimes he goes a little too far and he does not get it when it hurts my feelings, so I tend to always let him know that some topics are completely not cool. He now is pretty careful about it," says 28-year-old Nandini.
Gender communication styles can differ and vary from person to person. And now that genders are also fluid in nature, communication can also be fluid in nature.??