Be it the delivery of love letters to the hiding of parents and meeting in secret, the concept of dating has been going on for decades. Sure, people now are much more open about the concept and the way being someone's 'boyfriend-girlfriend' is seen. However, for decades now, many have been inculcating several toxic traits into their dating habits and well, they were doing them no good.?
I would not call millennials the 'older' generation but the concept of dating in India openly did start with this generation. Other than this, there are no rules portraying what should be practised in dating. What works and what does not has not been set in stone. But thanks to the internet, social media and general awareness when it comes to dating, people have realized a lot of things they have been doing while dating which completely is toxic.
While the slightly older generations such as millennials and boomers just understand what they have been doing wrong, the newer generation such as Gen Z and even Gen X are already up to date with everything they should or should not accept in dating. These generations have grown up with the rise of the internet and dating apps and for them, setting boundaries since the beginning is much easier. This generation has gathered all the mistakes and information that the older generations have made while dating and making sure to not repeat them, most of which include toxic traits.?
Indian dating app QuackQuack ran a poll with their 18,000 users where they asked how the dating experience could be improved. The interesting aspect of this poll is how that "16% of these participants are ranging between 18 to 26. 57% of the survey participants are students, 34% are employed, and 9% are working professionals who are simultaneously pursuing higher studies."
When it comes to Gen Z, they are very stern about what needs to be accepted and what they will certainly not go forward with when dating. Like the previous generations, they don't believe in the idea of love at first side or till death do us part. They believe more in the aspects of practical dating and how their self-worth should be the top priority.?
GenZ's very stern on the fact that no means no. This obviously does not mean that they need to be convinced more. "Millennials have been, unknowingly or knowingly, following a trend where they keep trying to make someone fall in love, and 37% of GenZ women from metros and smaller cities find it toxic. There's a fine line between convincing and harassing, and people who follow it are playing jump rope with that line, stated 21% of male daters between 18 to 22", adds the survey.?
For anyone who does not know the context, the three-day rule has been coined in romcoms. This means that a person needs to wait three days before contacting a potential suitor. Apparently, day 1 seems too eager, day 2 seems planned but day 3 is the perfect amount of time. "39% of GenZ participants in the survey said they do not appreciate playing games in love. 18% of men and women above 24 mentioned that playing hard to get falls under the same category of toxic dating trends once followed by Millennial daters but now chucked for its harmful impact on one's mental health. It is all fun and games when you are playing hard to get, but it's never fun for the person on the receiving end of it, expressed these daters," this was added in the survey.?
Sexism is way too outdated and it should not be followed when it comes to dating as well. "Expecting men to make the first move, ask women out on a date, confess their feelings first, and propose first is toxic and sexist at its very core, and the expectation is more common among Millennial women than GenZ, commented 19% of men between 23 to 26. Female daters from tier 1 and 2 cities, more than 26%, remarked on the trend and mentioned that women who want men to take the lead should not expect feminism to have their backs when they face other sexist trends in society," as per the survey.?
It is very important to know when a person has continuously shown patterns of abuse or manipulation. It is also very important to note right in the beginning what are the person's red flags. However, one can't keep ending everything based on just one fight. As per the survey, "One fight and declaring the entire relationship or the person as toxic is uncalled for says 33% of GenZ daters from tier 1 and 2 cities. They explained that being woke about abusive patterns in a relationship is essential, but that does not mean every minor inconvenience should be labelled toxic, and that's what is happening with Millennial daters with half knowledge about unhealthy behaviour."?
Gone are the days when it was suggested that the bill only needs to be paid by the man while dating. However, this can also be an indication of male chauvinism. As per the survey, "27% of female daters between 20 to 24 think a woman expecting her date to pay the bill on the first date just because they are men is enabling male chauvinism, and it has got to go. Millennials, in their yesteryear, might have counted that as chivalrous, but GenZ female daters and the modern Millennial daters are cancelling that trend, and they are all in favour of splitting the check."
With time, the newer generations are also changing the dating landscape and surely seems like we are headed in the right direction or at least leaving behind the toxicity that has been passed from generations.??