The rising popularity of the show Indian Matchmaking?has brought back the debate about love marriages and arranged marriages. Today, while most people still believe in the idea of love marriages, the prevalence of arranged marriages is still intact in our society.?
If you critically examine arranged marriages via shows like Indian Matchmaking, you'll see how potential grooms and brides are selected via proper biodatas. Not just that, these 'resumes' are not just skimmed by a potential match but by their entire family. Other than that 'potential brides and grooms' are told to "compromise" and "adjust" and "not expect 100%" of what they desire in their partner who they have to spend their entire lives with.?
Arranged marriages in general are like that. The scope is restricted to the same communities, same religions and the families of the prospective brides and grooms typically take the lead in finding a suitable partner. They consider factors such as social status, education, religion and family background to find a match that is suitable for their child. While this may?bring people who have been brought up with a similar belief system, it does narrow down options and provides very few choices to prospective brides and grooms to learn and discover a person.?
WeddingWire India, the Indian subsidiary of The Knot Worldwide, a wedding technology platform connecting engaged couples with local wedding professionals, released its data report on the latest wedding trends.?In the last survey that the brand conducted in 2020, 68% of couples revealed that their marriage was arranged. On the other hand, in the 2023 survey, only 44% of couples opted for the option resulting in a 24% drop.
As per a 2020 report by Statista on millennials and Gen Z in India, it was noted that 69.2 per cent of Gen Z preferred a love marriage over an arranged marriage. When it came to millennials, 62.3 per cent, preferred a love marriage over an arranged marriage.
As mentioned, the newer generations prefer to go for a love marriage over arranged marriage despite the general population still getting married via arranged setups. The thinking, however, is changing around love marriage, especially among urban millennials and Gen Z since the idea of spending your life with someone you are compatible with makes more sense.?
Love marriages are growing in popularity and here are some reasons why people now prefer to choose the same over arranged marriages:
Love sees no religion, caste or creed. So, people who choose to marry out of love don't see a certain colour or community when they choose a partner. Hence, creating social equality in society unlike how it is generally seen in arranged marriages.?
"Before I found my fiance, my parents were making me meet all Gujarati boys because of the same caste and community. Now, my boyfriend is Punjabi and I am Gujarati and nothing makes a difference here. However, if I settled by the arranged marriage setup I may have found someone from my community but the compatibility would never have been the same," says 31-year-old Nandini.?
Sure, via an arranged marriage, communities, religions and even castes can be the same, but it can not guarantee compatibility. When it comes to love marriage, both partners have selected each other based on their chemistry and compatibility. This can guarantee a person's marriage based on their own experience and choice. They will also be happier considering they already know the good and the bad traits of their partner.?
"I had been dating my now husband since my first year of college. We dated for 7 years before marrying each other. We grew up together and learnt everything about each other during this time. So, obviously, our compatibility is far better considering we already know everything about each other," says 29-year-old Bhavya.?
Since the partners already know each other and are comfortable, communication is obviously much more free-flowing and easier. This can lead to better conflict resolution and a stronger relationship.
"I met my now wife via a dating app about one and a half years ago. This was at a time I had given up on dating. She and I just clicked and we just like and wanted the same things. When we speak to each other, it feels like we've known each other for ages. Don't think that would have been the case if I had gone for an arranged setting," says 32-year-old Abhinav.?
Two people getting together from different communities, states or even countries can give rise to a whole new class of people. Not only do the offsprings of these people have extremely rare genes, but they also are the amalgamation of two very different qualities and traits.?
Love marriages are entered by the prospective bride and groom's own choice as opposed to arranged marriages where the choice of family members and other relatives are also taken into regard. So, the autonomy is far greater and there is more independence and freedom when it comes to living the marriage.?
"We didn't really want a big wedding and since have been dating for a while we had already discussed what our wedding would look like. So when we told our parents about this, they did not have any objections because both of us wanted a small-scale wedding and after all, it is our day," says 31-year-old Jitin.?
Whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage setting, to have a happy and healthy marriage both partners need to communicate openly, cooperate with each other and foster respect for each other's boundaries. That is the secret of a successful marriage.?