For 23-year-old Dutee Chand, the national champion in the women¡¯s 100 metres event and the third Indian woman ever to qualify for the Women's 100 metres event at the Summer Olympic Games, the coming out journey was not a cakewalk.
The India¡¯s first openly gay athlete had to face multiple hurdles after she made public to the world last year that she is in a same-sex relationship with a woman from her village in Odisha.
Speaking to Indiatimes, she said that "coming out of the closet" was better than "hiding" her personal life from the public and the Supreme Court verdict last year gave her tremendous courage and assurance to come out.
When her parents refused to understand, she decided that it's better to give up on people who do not value human emotions and relationships.
Dutee has proved to a be person of strong will, and declined to crumble under pressure when her parents and family objected to her relationship. The trailblazer was unmoved and expressed her desire to settle down with the woman she calls her "soulmate".
Looking back at the year that went by after Supreme Court, in a historic ruling, decriminalised homosexuality?on September 6, 2018, Dutee told Indiatimes that social acceptance for the LGBTQIA+ community has grown in this period.?
¡°After the Supreme Court decriminalised homosexuality and same-sex relationships, numerous people have found courage and decided to come out of the closet. We cannot assume that only heterosexuality is normal and a preferred sexual orientation.
The heteronormative notion is a lie that the society tells itself,¡± says Dutee.
She adds that many people have found their voice and it has now become easier for them to tell their parents and friends that they are homosexuals.
¡°I decided to tell my parents about my sexual orientation after the Supreme Court ruling. I had an assurance that I wasn¡¯t at least a criminal in my own country. The verdict made me fearless and I knew I could face all of this now.
¡°But after I made my relationship public, the initial ten to fifteen days were quite hard-hitting. Of course, I felt that I have been relieved of a heavy burden but many people used derogatory language and said all kinds of things about me. However slowly, they began to understand that I am just like them. Now, I don¡¯t care about anything,¡± Dutee says.
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She says that people who are in the public eye face tremendous problems in making public their personal life. ¡°We are under constant scrutiny for the life choices that we are making. We are the ones who must face the world and answer every question thrown at us,¡± she adds.
The world sent back much optimism and happiness to the champion. Fellow trailblazer American comedian and TV personality Ellen DeGeneres tweeted from far away, that she was proud of the first openly gay sportsperson in India.
The tide within India is already turning. Even after the landmark ruling, data from polls show that societal acceptance might still be some way off. The majority view is opposing to same-sex relationships, but Indians¡¯ views have become less rigid over a period of time.
Between 1990 and 2014, the share of Indian respondents in the World Value Survey who believed ¡°homosexuality is never justifiable" fell from 89 per cent to 24 per cent ¡ª from an overwhelming majority to a clear minority.?
¡°The challenges going ahead are massive. Even now, in urban and rural societies, inter-caste marriages are a taboo. It is difficult to change the mindset towards homosexual relationships. Honour killings are still prevalent. Families find it easier to kill their daughters if they find out that she is in a relationship with a boy from a different or a lower caste. Marriage is completely off the cards. In some cases, families put restrictions on their children. They are not allowed to go out and continue their studies. And this is the mellow response. I believe these things must change now. In our society, not everyone is the same and the society must accept it,¡± Dutee emphasises.
Education about sexual orientation must begin in schools. Boys are bullied for being effeminate. Girls are bullied for dressing up as boys. The lack of understanding about sexual orientation often leads people from the community into depression and anxiety.
The tormentors range from not just fellow students and teachers but neighbours and people in the family too.
Across the country, students are bullied because of their sexual orientation and gender identity (SOGI), often forcing many of them to drop out. Most teachers are not trained or empowered to respond to anti-LGBTQIA+ bullying and are more often than not among the perpetrators.
The Indian government¡¯s stance on LGBTQIA+ rights has evolved considerably but much more is required to protect people on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity in the country.
¡°I believe that with the ascent of technology and accessibility to social media, the younger generation currently knows better than the earlier generation. We could never talk about something as natural as periods to our parents or relatives. It was a taboo and still is in some parts. But the situation is changing steadily for the good,¡± Dutee says, while adding that social media has a crucial role to play in better understanding.
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¡°When youngsters reach puberty, they start discovering their body and their likes and orientation. It is a normal process and everyone has a different journey towards self-discovery. Our body changes and so does our mind. We can¡¯t change that. I believe it¡¯s a sin to even try to change how we feel about ourselves and the attraction that we have towards a person, irrespective of their sex. We must accept and celebrate who we are,¡± she says.
Dutee says that the transgender community is now being accepted by the society. The Transgenders Rights Bill is a huge step towards the betterment of the community and their rights. They are being accepted at schools and workplaces.?
Reminiscing her own journey of self-discovery, Dutee says that she had always stayed in a sports hostel while growing up. ¡°Around the age of 16-17, I began noticing that I like girls. l felt an attraction towards them. The feeling evolved eventually and I wanted someone who could walk with me hand in hand and share my life with me. When I found the one, I narrated my entire life to her and I found an assurance in that person that she wants to spend her life with me too, and that was it,¡± she states.
Dutee says that she tried convincing and explaining to her parents about what she wants in life but they remained firm. ¡°They refused to understand. I am an adult. I can make my own decisions,¡± she adds.
Dutee¡¯s journey is an inspiration for millions of Indians who are still trying to find that last bit of courage to come out of the closet and accept who they are and be accepted for the same without judgement and bias.
The journey to acceptance is not impossible albeit slow and gradual.