Excerpts From Matthew Perry’s Friends, Lovers, And The Big Terrible Thing That Hit Close To Heart?

As I slept after finishing 250 pages of?Matthew Perry’s self-written memoir Friends, Lovers, and The Big Terrible Thing, I wasn’t ready to wake up to the news of his passing. It felt like I was with him until yesterday, in my head, of course, and today he is gone.

I had just finished learning a lot about him from this book, and I was looking forward to more. Perry wanted to get married and have kids, like he always wanted, but who knew there would be nothing more? Talk about timing, right?

It felt like a personal loss to me too, like the rest of his fans around the world. The show was already a hit when I was born; naturally, I caught the hang of the show much later in life. Watching the show after 18 years of it being done, I was surprised at how excited people were about it all along. I understand the hype now.

Once a Friends fan, always a?Friends fan. So, as a tribute to recently passed Perry and to thank him for all the laughs, I share here a few excerpts from his book that not only hit too close to heart but also give us a peek inside the comedian genius Perry’s life, struggles, and triumphs.

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Why did he write this memoir?

In the prologue of the book, Perry shares a lot about his present life. And a big part of it was addiction. He writes, “I don't write all this so anyone will feel sorry for me—I write these words because they are true. I write them because someone else may be confused by the fact that they know they should stop drinking—like me, they have all the information, and they understand the consequences—but they still can't stop drinking. You are not alone, my brothers and sisters. (In the dictionary under the word "addict," there should be a picture of me looking around, very confused.)”?

Personal feelings?

He wrote a lot about being lonely and struggling to form a romantic relationship. One thing that stood out to me was this: "My mind is out to kill me, and I know it. I am constantly filled with a lurking loneliness, a yearning, clinging to the notion that something outside of me will fix me. But I had had all that the outside had to offer!"?

When he had his first drink at the age of 14!

He writes, “I realised that for the first time in my life, nothing bothered me. The world made sense; it wasn't bent and crazy. I was complete and at peace. I had never been happier than at that moment. This is the answer, I thought; this is what I've been missing. This must be how normal people feel all the time. I don't have any problems. It is all gone. I don't need attention. I am taken care of; I am fine. I was in bliss. I had no problems for those three hours. I wasn't abandoned; I wasn't fighting with my mom; I wasn't doing poorly in school; I wasn't wondering what life was about or my place in it. It took away everything.” Now imagine a 14-year-old telling you all this. It is beyond sad.

His struggle with love

Perry had a hard time getting into romantic relationships, and he talks about it often in the book.

At one instance, he finally confesses, “I have spent my life being attracted to unavailable women. It doesn't take a psychology degree to figure out that this has something to do with my relationship with my mother. My mother captivated every room she entered. I vividly remember being at some fancy ballroom when I was about six years old, and when my mom came in, every head in the room turned. I wanted her to turn and look at me in these moments, but she was working and could not—it took me only thirty-seven years to work that out.”?

His encounter with God

In the chapter, All Heaven Breaking Loose, he shares an encounter with what he calls god. He writes, “I had been in the presence of God. I was certain of it. And this time I had prayed for the right thing: help.”

He vividly describes it: “I could see colour differently, angles were of a different magnitude, the walls were stronger, the ceiling higher, the trees tapping on the windows more perfect than ever, their roots connected via the soil to the planet and back into me—one great connection created by an ever-loving God—and beyond, a sky that had before been theoretically infinite was now unknowably endless. I was connected to the universe in a way I had never been. Even the plants in my house, which I had never even noticed before, seemed in sharp focus, more lovely than it was possible to be, more perfect, more alive.”

“I stayed sober for two years based solely on that moment. God had shown me a sliver of what life could be. He had saved me that day and for all days, no matter what. He had turned me into a seeker, not only of sobriety and truth but also of him. He had opened a window and closed it, as if to say, ‘Now go earn this,’” he shared.

What is your favourite thing about Matthew Perry? Tell us in the comments.

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