Why ¡®Go With The Flow¡¯ Isn¡¯t The Ideal State For Your Relationship

Relationships rule a millennial¡¯s life. Finding love, breaking up and staying in love are the three main stages of dating life. This constant shifting grounds of romance and sex leads to a distorted sense of companionship.

Labelling relationships has become a new taboo, no one wants to be ¡®tied down.¡¯ So, what is an ideal relationship today? There is no fixed answer.

The best way to be in a relationship is to not rock the boat too much or rather just ¡®go with the flow,' but this is a really dangerous zone to be in.

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Head in the sand.

Living in denial is sometimes the only source of happiness for most of us who are just healing from the scars of past failed relationships. Too scared to go down the same path again while hoping to find deeper meaning in a relationship, we just choose to ¡®go with the flow¡¯ in the hope that the flow actually takes us somewhere.

Here's how you identify if you are stuck in this kind of a relationship: The smallest things or events make you feel like you¡¯ve achieved a milestone in your so-called nameless relationship.

Imagine this. You meet somebody and you guys instantly hit it off. Every plan you make after that involves them and you end up spending a lot of time with each other. But when it¡¯s time to have ¡®the talk,' at least one of you expresses their fear of commitment and suggests that you just ¡®go with the flow¡¯.

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Lying to yourself.

In order to not lose out on the person completely, we decide to go ahead with this trial and error approach and even though we are perfectly aware that heartbreak is inevitable, we lie to ourselves because that is what we are used to.

Relationship and dating coach Stephan Labossiere has an interesting approach to this whole concept. In his book ¡®The Man God Has For You¡¯, he says,

Even though this is directed at men, this is applicable to all genders. Regardless of how you identify, if you are in a similar situation, take two cents from this quote. What he is trying to say is that the moment someone even suggests you ¡®go with the flow¡¯ when you ask for a relationship, just say no.

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The vague spot.

Taking your own sweet time before deciding to commit to someone is a very important step to get into a relationship. By our mid-20s, all of us are more or less aware of how much jumping into relationships isn¡¯t a good idea. But that doesn¡¯t mean one gets to keep you hanging and make you lose your sense of direction as well.

Being vague is probably a very common trait for us because it allows us to constantly change our approach towards things and not get blamed for anything since no one has established anything. But if you fail to take responsibility or move ahead with your new-found partner, it is best you avoid getting into a relationship altogether.

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Transparency is key.

Clarity is vital when another person¡¯s feelings are at stake too and being selfish isn¡¯t the best quality to portray in such situations. Simply put, if someone wants to be with you, they will. Nothing in this world will stop them from doing so and if they¡¯ve told you otherwise, it¡¯s probably because they never wanted to be with you from the very beginning.

Staying in a complicated situation like this, assuming it is as good as sitting will not help you, your partner and most definitely the relationship. Know your worth, and move forward, not with the flow.