Here's How Forgiveness Works To Form Trust After A Broken Relationship

In any meaningful relationship, trust serves as the bedrock upon which love, intimacy, and connection are built. The vital ingredient fosters a sense of safety, vulnerability, and mutual understanding. However, trust can be easily broken through acts of betrayal, dishonesty, or hurtful behaviour, leaving the relationship wounded and fragile. In such instances, forgiveness emerges as an essential and transformative element in rebuilding trust.

Forgiveness can mend the fractures in relationships, bridging the gap between pain and healing.

What is forgiveness?

It is a courageous act that requires vulnerability, empathy, and a willingness to let go of past grievances. By choosing to forgive, individuals open the door to the possibility of restoring trust and paving the way for a renewed connection.

It is a multifaceted concept that involves letting go of negative emotions, resentment, and the desire for revenge against someone who has harmed or wronged you. It is a conscious and voluntary decision to release feelings of anger, bitterness, and resentment and to replace them with understanding, empathy, and compassion.

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How is forgiveness good for a fruitful relationship?

Forgiveness is not just something one needs to do to feel better and let go of the bitterness; it also helps with certain aspects that may help us in the long term. Here are some things:

It is good for a person's emotional well-being

Numerous studies have demonstrated a strong correlation between forgiveness and improved emotional well-being in individuals who have experienced relationship trauma. Research by researchers such as Dr. Robert Enright and Dr. Everett Worthington has shown that forgiveness reduces negative emotions, such as anger, resentment, and depression, while increasing positive emotions, such as empathy and compassion. This emotional healing plays a crucial role in repairing broken relationships by creating an environment conducive to rebuilding trust.

It helps rebuild trust in relationships

Forgiveness serves as a catalyst for restoring trust in relationships. A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that forgiveness was associated with higher levels of trust and perceived relationship quality. When individuals choose to forgive, it signals a willingness to let go of past hurts and work towards rebuilding the relationship. This act of forgiveness can reestablish a sense of safety, vulnerability, and mutual understanding, strengthening the foundation for a healthier and more resilient connection.

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It results in effective communication and conflict resolution

Research indicates that forgiveness promotes better communication and conflict resolution within relationships. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that forgiveness was linked to more constructive and open communication patterns between partners. When individuals forgive, they are more likely to engage in empathetic listening, express their emotions effectively, and work towards mutually satisfactory resolutions. This enhanced communication fosters understanding, empathy, and cooperation, which are vital components of repairing broken relationships.

It has physical and mental health benefits

Forgiveness has been associated with significant physical and mental health benefits for individuals in the context of healing broken relationships. Studies have shown that practising forgiveness lowers blood pressure, reduces stress levels, and improves overall cardiovascular health. Additionally, forgiveness has been linked to decreased symptoms of anxiety and depression and improved overall psychological well-being. These positive health outcomes create a conducive environment for relationship healing and growth.

It has benefits in the long run

Research suggests that forgiveness contributes to long-term relationship satisfaction and stability. A study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that forgiveness was associated with higher levels of relationship satisfaction and commitment. Couples who practised forgiveness reported greater relationship longevity, increased marital happiness, and lower rates of relationship dissolution. By letting go of past grievances, couples can cultivate a positive and resilient relationship, fostering a sense of fulfilment and lasting happiness.

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How to move to the state of forgiveness?

Holding a grudge or resenting someone after things have gone wrong is extremely easy. But dwelling on negative and bitter emotions will only lead you to hold on to the past and stop you from moving forward. While for some, forgiveness comes easily, for many, it is a hard process. Here is how one can learn how to forgive:

Acknowledging and validating your emotions

Start by acknowledging the pain, anger, or resentment you feel as a result of the hurtful actions. Allow yourself to feel these emotions and understand that they are valid reactions to the situation. Give yourself permission to grieve and process the pain.

Getting a perspective on things

Try to put yourself in the shoes of the person who hurt you. Reflect on their humanity, flaws, and potential factors that influenced their actions. This does not mean you have to condone or justify their behaviour, but cultivating empathy can help soften your emotions and promote understanding.

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Engage in self-healing practises

Explore practises that support your emotional healing and well-being. This can include therapy, journaling, meditation, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and peace. Focus on self-care and nurturing yourself as you progress towards forgiveness.

Set boundaries

Forgiveness does not mean you have to resume the same level of closeness or trust with the person who hurt you. It is essential to establish clear boundaries that prioritise your emotional safety and well-being. This may involve limiting contact, seeking support from loved ones, or seeking professional help if necessary.

Practise Patience And Persistence

Forgiveness is a process that takes time and may involve setbacks along the way. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel the emotions that arise. Remember that forgiveness is a journey, and it is normal to experience ups and downs as you work towards healing.

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Forgiveness is not always an easy or instantaneous process. It can take time, self-reflection, and inner work to cultivate forgiveness. It may require acknowledging and processing the pain, seeking support from others, and engaging in self-care and self-compassion. Forgiveness is a personal journey that varies in its timeline and complexity for each individual. It is a powerful act of self-liberation that can contribute to personal growth, healthier relationships, and a more positive and fulfilling future.