What Queer Individuals Want When They Ask For 'Safe Spaces'

¡°I won't let them break me down to dust, I know that there's a place for us,¡± goes a song from the popular movie The Greatest Showman. These lyrics resonate on a deeply personal level for queer people for they have been fighting for their right to exist in social and professional spaces.

The horrors of queer invisibility

Queer people have felt invisible for centuries, forcing them to hide a true part of their identity. As a result of this, many people from the LGBTQIA+ community grow up pretending so that they may have access to social spaces that are otherwise denied to them.

According to a Yale School of Public Health study, the vast majority of the world's sexual minority population, (about 83%) keep their orientation hidden from all or most of the people in their lives.

Having to hide a fundamental aspect of who you are has the potential to dent one's mental health. LGBTQIA+ people are more likely than the overall population to suffer from social anxiety disorder, as supplanted by a research published in the European Journal of Public Health that claims "social anxiety levels were notably high for all sexual minority subgroups."

Unsplash

According to the study, some demographics of LGBTQIA+ people experienced significantly higher levels of social anxiety, especially people who identify as bisexual, queer, pansexual, asexual, or non-cisgender. A part of this anxiety stems for from being unable to access spaces that are readily available to everyone else. As Pride Month comes to a close this year, we're compelled to ask - how can we make social and professional spaces safe for the LGBTQIA+ community?

Making social spaces accessible to the LGBTQIA+ community

By creating an environment that respects, supports, and promotes their fight for equal rights, spaces may be made more inclusive and welcoming.

¡°I have been working in [the] corporate [world] for the past 2 years, and even though I have been open about my sexuality with my social circle, I am still hesitant to come out to my colleagues. Even though the workplace has an 'inclusive' policy and the HR department plans events around the pride month to 'celebrate all sexualities and genders,' these initiatives are ignored by the people in the office like a spam email," a Gurugram-based business strategist who identifies as gay said on the condition of anonymity,

¡°According to the company¡¯s policy, it shouldn¡¯t affect my position or the nature of work if I come out at my office. But in reality, I am scared that I will be judged for my sexuality and my authority will be undermined, as this will make me a 'lesser man' in front of my colleagues¡¯ eyes," he added.

Instead of annual rainbow posturing exercises every year, companies should strive to create an inclusive environment through the year. Ashish Chopra, an HR professional who identifies as gay, suggests a gender neutral approach. "If we talk about protection against sexual harassment, according to our law, only women get protection rights but companies can go beyond and make all policies gender neutral. I don¡¯t think any policies should be gendered.¡±

¡°Making sure to have the right infrastructure [will go a long way as] many people require gender neutral washrooms. May be if I have a daughter someday, I will need a gender neutral washroom, because I can¡¯t take her inside a men¡¯s washroom and I can¡¯t enter the ladies room," he added.

"Corporate insurances should include same-sex partners and gender affirmation care should be provided.... From canteen staff to security guards, everyone should be sensitised about the community. There have been instances when trans people were hired by the company but the security guards didn¡¯t let them enter on their first day. Sensitising each and everyone who is interacting with the employees is crucial," Chopra added.

Sometimes even spaces that are meant for queer people fail to provide safety and security. A giant example of this misstep may be seen at queer parties that are organised in India.

Unsplash/Representational Image

Mayank Tyagi, a graphic designer and a self-confessed party animal who identifies as gay reflects on his time attending queer parties. He remembers feeling unwanted even in a space that claimed to welcome queer people.

Mayank Tyagi / Sourced

¡°The guards look at you funny, they don¡¯t know how queer people act and object to many things including the way people are dressed and the way people are dancing. I have seen so many guards laughing while looking at my peers. We come to these parties to feel like ourselves among people like us, but when such things happen, it sends you down a spiral of unwanted feelings we unlearned the hard way.¡±

Some people even experience disconnect from within community. Devansh, who identifies as non-binary, recalls feeling so. "As a non binary person, I've experienced a level of disconnect [even] from the gay community from time to time. There have been times when I've tried to create a safe space for people of our community and they just didn't accept it. They just didn't view me as a person who could understand them for reasons unknown to me. We all know that there is prejudice within our community when it comes to femininity. Maybe if there was more relevant representation in media that didn't portray us as a predatory presence and mocked our existence, maybe that could make a difference."

What can communal spaces do?

Vikas Narula, co-owner of Depot 48, a queer-friendly kitchen and bar located in GK, also feels the same way, ¡°It¡¯s never easy to be queer in public. To feel welcome and not be judged in public spaces is rare in our society for queer people or any marginalised group for that matter.¡±

What can such spaces do to make queer people feel welcome and wanted? Narula, who organises a weekly queer night called 'Pink Thursday' at his bar dedicated to the community, adds, ¡°What a bar or a restaurant can do to be queer friendly is to make everyone feel at home and be comfortable in their own skin. To just put a pride flag and host a queer party once a year is not enough. It¡¯s tokenism."

¡°We are very careful about our hiring and training process. All our staff, new and old, know that no one can be discriminated against and that no one will be judged. They are all sensitised by means of an informal chat or a discussion during the course of their stint with us. We also have gender neutral toilets, which should be the norm anyway.¡±

¡°We have had many not-so-busy Pink Thursday nights, where we¡¯ve seen people leave because it wasn¡¯t busy or they felt uncomfortable. We, however, stayed with it because we were done being ¡®pushover'. It took some time for the people from the community to realise that we weren¡¯t going to go anywhere."

"Apart from this there also has to be a systemic change in attitudes, which will always be a work-in-progress,¡± Narula added.

What can be done to make places more sensitised?

Niyamat Bakshi / Sourced

"The vicissitudes of the LGBTQIA+ [community] have most certainly attained dialogue at courtrooms and amidst the administration, but have lost essence where they really matter, within dining halls, classrooms and workplaces. Triumph can thus only be availed if the judicial reforms attain validation from our social perception," says Niyamat Bakshi, who identifies as trans.

How can we make spaces safe for everyone?

• Ensuring that laws are in place to protect queer individuals from discrimination, hate crimes, and harassment could offset material change on the ground. Such laws should cover various aspects of life including employment, housing, healthcare, and public accommodations.
• Implementing comprehensive educational programmes that promote understanding and acceptance of queer identities at schools, workplaces, and law enforcement agencies about LGBTQIA+ history, terminology, and their unique challenges.
• Providing sensitivity training to law enforcement agencies to ensure they understand the unique concerns and challenges faced by the queer community could also help foster positive relationships between the police and queer individuals, increasing their trust in the justice system.
• Continuous advocacy and activism is necessary to address emerging challenges and to ensure sustained progress. Organisations and social spaces can achieve this by collaborating with LGBTQIA+ organisations, activists, and allies to advocate for legal protections, social change, and increased visibility for the queer community.

Unsplash/Representational image

For more stories on the LGBTQIA+ community and queerness in India, keep reading Spectrum on Indiatimes.