11 Feminist Dads Of Bollywood Who Are Helping To Seed The Idea Of Equality In Our Everyday Lives
Why do you let her wear those short clothes? Why do you let her go out so late at night? You¡¯re spoiling your girl.?Those are some of the unreasonable and absurd questions that feminist fathers have to deal with in their everyday lives.?
I might have understood the meaning of feminism in my early 20's but my first encounter with a feminist was on the day when I was born. It was my own father.?
Years before feminism was a word in our daily vocabulary, he defined masculinity in exactly the way the world needed to know. Whenever he could, he would help my mother in the household chores. Even when she wanted to do the job alone, he would request her to share the responsibilities. Men don¡¯t cry? He was vocal about his emotional status too, because he never considered my mother any less than what he was. We are ¡®woke millennials¡¯ now; he was a ¡®woke father¡¯ then.?
But Bollywood hasn¡¯t shown such daddies in reel life.?
Be it Amrish Puri's Chaudhary Baldev Singh in Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge who wasn't convinced that his daughter can live his life on her own terms and fall in love with a guy without anyone¡¯s approval, or be it Anupam Kher's Gulshan Bakshi Kya Kehna who disowned her own daughter for getting pregnant before marriage, from Amitabh Bachchan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham to Alok Nath in Vivah, the reel-life fathers, often portraying the reflection of society, were mostly conservative and obsessed with social respect.
However, as times are changing, the portrayal of fathers on-screen, who showcase a beautiful yet complicated (complicated because the patriarchal society has told them how to treat women but they believe in equality; and beautiful because when they raise their daughters with freedom and live their lives on their own terms, they raise happy human beings) relationship between daughters, mothers, sons, society and themselves, is changing too.?
Here¡¯s a tribute to the feminist fathers of Bollywood who are helping to seed the idea of equality in our everyday lives.?
1. Anup Saxena in Gunjan Saxena
Played by: Pankaj Tripathi?
Unlike others, this film is based on reality. Gunjan Saxena's (Janhvi Kapoor) father Anup (Pankaj Tripathi) was one of main reasons that contributed to her success. Had he not empowered his daughter to follow her dreams, she wouldn't have made the country proud, and most importantly she wouldn't have been happier today.?
"Plane ladka udaye ya ladki, dono ko pilot hi bolte hain".?
He defied all the odds, went against her wife, convinced her and his son to let Gunjan follow her dreams and showed the society, which wanted to pull her in kitchen, that she is no less than a man, and she will never be.
2. Sachin Sandhu in Thappad
Played by: Kumud Mishra
Kumud Mishra's role as Sachin Sandhu is a gentle and caring father who encourages his daughter to choose her future. He beams with happiness as he sees his daughter (Taapsee Pannu) dance at the party. His smile soon fades away to see her getting slapped by her own husband. That is the moment he realises his wife Sandhya (Ratna Pathak Shah) made sacrifices too in her life, and that she has passed them on to her daughter. In that moment, he chooses to atone his mistake and let Amrita lead her own life in the way she wants to.?
He doesn¡¯t tell her what to do, but he helps her arrive at a decision of walking out of a marriage despite being pregnant. He gets her prepared for the decision she has made by warning her that sometimes the right decision comes with consequences - which is often compromising on happiness.?
¡°Hum to humesha sahi hi soch ke karte hain, par kayin baar sahi karne ka result happy nahi hota¡±
Not only he gives the right values to his daughter, he treats his son equally too. He reprimands his son Karan (Ankur Rathee) when he behaves rudely with her fiance.
3. Narottam Mishra in Bareilly Ki Barfi
Played by: Pankaj Tripathi
Pankaj Tripathi as Bitti's (Kriti Sanon) father Mishraji in Bareilly Ki Barfi understands that his daughter is free-spirited. Even when she gets criticised by men who reject her for marriage, he doesn't ask her to change. Instead, he shields her from her mother's obsession of getting her married.?
He smokes and drinks with her. He advises her to sit comfortably when she sits on a bike. He lets her choose how she wants to live. Most importantly, he listens to his daughter and her thoughts.
He shows her the true picture of the society and suggests that even when she doesn¡¯t believe in what it preaches is right, she will have to live with and in it. He empathised with his daughter and never forced her to change.
4.?Champak Bansal in Angrezi Medium
Played by Irrfan Khan?
In his last film Angrezi Medium, Irrfan Khan played the role of a progressive father, who despite his own wish of not living away from his daughter understands her ambition and agrees to send her abroad to fulfill her dreams. The film is a sweet story that takes you on a rollar coaster ride of their bonding, relationship, conflicts and emotional journey.
Champak Bansal does everything possible for his daughter?dream to complete her education in a foreign country. He doesn't pressurize her with his financial problems and expectations, but at the same time, he keeps the conversation open by sharing his thoughts with her. That's what strengthens their bond, after all.
5. Mahavir Singh Phogat in Dangal
Played by Aamir Khan
¡®Mhari chhoriyan choro se kam hai ke¡¯ - This one dialogue has hit us hard after watching Dangal. Even when the society is against it, he believes that daughters are no less than sons, even physically. He may be a harsh mentor, but he doesn't give a damn about the society and its deep-rooted patriarchy. He doesn't believe in gender inequality. He defies the stereotypes and proves to the entire Haryanvi community that its idea of patriarchy is certainly a thing of the past.?
At the same time, he is somewhere wrong too by not letting his daughters decide how they want to lead their lives. He is the main decision-maker in his daughter¡¯s life, which makes him a faux feminist.
6. Bhashkor Banerjee in Piku
Played by: Amitabh Bachchan
Bhashkor Banerjee is the epitome of a feminist father. He not only motivates his daughter, he also supports the fact that she can have an opinion on different matters, even the ones relating to sex and love. He is proud of the fact that his daughter not only is capable of holding opinions but she is also brave enough to voice them out. He doesn't want her to get married just for the heck of it. He raises her to be strong. He portrays himself as a normal human being and not an authoritarian father figure who is capable of forging friendship with his daughter.
7. Jeetendra Kaushik in Badhaai Ho
Played by: Gajraj Rao
A father of two young boys, Gajraj Rao is a middle-aged romantic man who is supportive of his wife, even when his own mother is not. He acknowledges that she can have a say in her own life. Even when he doesn't agree with the idea of having a kid, he certainly agrees to the choice that his wife Babli Kaushik (Neena Gupta) makes, to keep the child because she feels it is sinful to abort it. He convinces his sons and her own mother of the reality of unexpectedly becoming parents for the third time.
8. Kamal Mehra in Dil Dhadakne Do?
Played by: Anil Kapoor?
Initially, Anil Kapoor as Mr Mehra is a selfish patriarch who believes in the concept of 'Paraya Dhan' and? that his daughter doesn't belong in his home after the divorce. However, he soon realises his mistakes and even apologises to her. In the beginning of the movie, he goes against his son's wish and forces him to join the family business. He is even insensitive towards his wife, but he soon changes -- as a human being and as a father.?
9. Mr Thapar in Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani
Played by: Farooq Sheikh
Do men really have emotions? Can men cry? Yes, they can, and they should. Bunty's father in Yeh Jawani Hai Deewani is not shy away from sharing his feelings with him. He sits him down to have a conversation. He pours his heart out about his concerns and expectations in life. At the same time, he lets him live the life he has chosen for himself. He is not a controlling parent who tells his son what to do. He just wants him to know that he cares and understands his freedom.
"Jahaan tumhara jee chaahe jao, jo jee chaahe karo, jiss tarah zindagi jeeni hai jiyo. Bete ek baat yaad rakhna, zindagi mein chaahe jo ho jaaye, kuch bhi, main humesha tumhare saath hoon."??
10. Mr Joshi in Shubh Mangal Saavdhan
Played by: Neeraj Sood
Sugandha's father in the movie struggles in most parts to come to terms with the next generations openness towards sexuality and love. However, gradually he moves beyond the awkwardness around such issues. He not only stands up for his daughter, he also goes against the elders of his home. He convinces them and agrees to his daughter's dilemma and suggests that marital bliss shall not take a backseat.
11. Murad Ali Mohammed in Mulk
Played by: Rishi Kapoor
In the time when seeking help from a woman or wife or daughter is not considered "manly" or weak behaviour, Murad Ali Mohammed doesn't mind taking help from his daughter-in-law. Not only that, he even admits his vulnerability to her, because being expressive is just not a thing that the other sex is entitled to. For a man, asking help from a woman is as fine as the vice versa is. When he struggles to fight a case, he seeks help from his daughter in law without an iota of doubt in his mind.
These on-screen fathers are beacons of feminism. Be it on-screen or off-screen, feminist fathers are true gems.?
