Out of all the innate human emotions, jealousy spares no one. Even the people you are jealous of feel jealous of someone; none of us are immune and it's part of being human.?
But what makes jealousy especially challenging is that despite its universality, so much shame is attached to it.?
We might feel free to talk to a friend about, say, heartbreak or anger?but most of us worry that sharing our feelings of jealousy will make us seem petty or selfish.
It becomes even more complicated when some people want to celebrate other people's success or happiness but along with jealousy feel guilty. It's like you hate someone but then you hate yourself for hating them.?
Naturally, many people then try to suppress their feelings of jealousy. But as you know, bottling up such intense feelings is not exactly effective. Instead, we must try to change the meaning you associate with jealousy and what gives rise to it. Because once you stop being jealous, you can only be happy.?
Next time you're feeling jealous, follow these five steps to move past it.
In order to stop being jealous, you need to start being honest. What exactly has caused you to be this upset?
It's important to be specific because only then can you narrow it down to what has caused you to be jealous in the first place. For instance, it's not enough to say you're jealous because your friend got the promotion and you didn't. Try and understand what they did better and how you can improve.?
Going by its definition, you can only be jealous of something you don't have. So think about why you don't have it, why and if you want it, and which steps you'd need to take to achieve it.
For instance, you are jealous of your friend's fit body. Here it's wise asking yourself why you can't get fit, what is the biggest challenge and how you might get on track losing weight, gaining more muscle or simply eating clean.?
Instead of comparing yourself with others and living by their standards of greatness, it's best to become your own standard of greatness and work towards achieving it everyday. The focus should be on comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. Focus on?your?improvement. Comparing to other people is a lose-lose situation.
If you are scrolling through Instagram that makes feel even the slightest envy, LIKE THE PHOTO. Even comment.?The more you practice the art of looking jealousy in the face, being nice, and actually overcoming it by being genuinely happy for someone, you will always be on the path to your own personal goals and you wonĄŻt lose any friends in the process.?
Jealousy is one of the greatest motivators, hands down. So exploit it as much as you can. Make a list of all the issues that are bothering you and then turn each point around in such a way that the only beneficiary is you. Jealous of your friend who got her dream job? Take note of how she realised her goals and start from there.?
Always remember, let jealousy be the green-eyed monster, you don't have to be. The tips mentioned above will not only help you overcome petty jealousy but make space for good things to happen in your life.?
All illustrations by Ranak Mann.