Can You Avoid Falling In Love And Learn To Be Happy On Your Own?

Not all roads lead to a fantastic and happy life, and not all of these paths essentially lead to marriage or parenthood. A flourishing career, a successful marriage and a beautiful baby make for that perfect family photograph but are they really indicators of happiness?

Not necessarily. You can just be happy with a photograph of you, by yourself, having the time of your life, and science backs that up with data. Behavioural scientist Paul Dolan from London School of Economics and author of 'Happiness By Design,' told The Guardian there¡¯s conclusive data that women without spouses or children lived longer than their child-raising peers.

Dolan sums it up: ¡°If you¡¯re a man, you should probably get married; if you¡¯re a woman, don¡¯t bother.¡±

But what is the ground reality? Emma Watson recently came up with the term ¡®self partnered.¡¯ It means a state of bliss when you have just yourself for company.

Can we emulate this in our lives?

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¡°Indians need to make a gigantic leap in order to accept single people and let them stay happy on their own without making them feel something is wrong with them,¡± Dr Soumya Mudgal, consultant, psychiatry at Max Multi Special Centre in Panscheel Park, New Delhi told Indiatimes.

¡°However, we are seeing a rise in the number of people who are choosing to stay single rather than suffer through problematic or toxic relationships. It¡¯s a rising awareness,¡± she explained.

Her theory has many takers. Natasha Singh, a 27-year-old entrepreneur in Mumbai has chosen to be single so she can focus on her business. She says she has no time for a boyfriend or husband: ¡°My ambition has always driven me. I can¡¯t take weekends off. I can¡¯t wake up with a hangover and get to work, and I certainly can¡¯t get my job done if all I am doing is waiting for a text back.¡±

This sentiment to be single in order to give priority and time to your career is not uncommon among people in their twenties. Financial independence and having a career is, today, ranked above love.

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It¡¯s understandable to hustle in your twenties in order to have a firm foundation, professionally and financially, to stand on in your thirties. But can you actively avoid falling in love?

¡°It¡¯s hard to be single. I am leading private equity, I travel every week, I have a great set of friends and a supportive family," says Arjun Rai, a 37-year-old investment banker from Mumbai who is actively avoiding love. "But even my friends look at me with pity. Like choosing to be single means something is wrong with me, something is off,¡± he admits.

Meanwhile, Pune-based, 30-year-old Myra Khan is convinced that the minute she turned thirty, she just wasn¡¯t datable anymore:

¡°I conducted my own social experiment of sorts. The day I turned 30, I saw a drop in my matches on dating apps. I quickly turned my age to 29 and the matches start rolling back in. Is age just a number then?¡±

This brings out the pain of being single: you are sometimes left with no choice but to be happy on your own.

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But then Vijaymohan Das, a single, 40-year-old art curator from New Delhi had the most brilliant conclusion to whether we can be happy on our own or not.

¡°You see a single man of 40 who has never had children. He looks dapper, works out and eats his fruit regularly. You look at him and think what a curse to have everything but not love. But that¡¯s where it gets interesting. I will go to sleep without worrying about who is staying with me just for my money or is cheating on me. I think that makes me way happier! If that¡¯s not a blessing then what is?¡±

Das has a point. Being in a toxic relationship is far worse than being alone. Being single makes for a much safer bet. What do you think?