It's High Time We Stop Invalidating A Woman's Anger By Assuming That It Stems From Her Period

I was sitting with friends and like any bunch of grownups, we started discussing office. A male friend of mine revealed that he had had a bad week because he made a mistake and his female boss scolded him pretty badly. Another person quickly added, ¡°Leave it, yaar. She must be on her period.¡±

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And well, it wasn¡¯t the first time that I heard someone invalidating a woman¡¯s totally reasonable anger by throwing around the fact that she must be ¡®on her period.¡¯ Only a couple of months back, the producer of Horn 'Ok' Pleassss Samee Siddiqui reacted to allegations of molestation by Tanushree Dutta against Nana Patekar while the movie was being shot. The famous and reputed producer said:

"I feel she was on her periods that day.¡±

It really is sad that people are so unaware about how basic biology works. But what this particular line represents something even sadder: women are supposed to be so docile that they should never get annoyed. I mean, telling a human being that their range of emotions doesn¡¯t contain a single iota of anger is beyond ridiculous. Now are even emotions are gender-biased?

Really, if you think about it, this concept is rather bizarre. You¡¯re essentially telling us women that it isn¡¯t in our emotional range to feel annoyed. You¡¯re silencing an absolutely angry woman by going on her biology, something she has little control over. The truth, however, is slightly different.

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The truth is that women are like any other creature who get annoyed when something unfair happens. When you feel wronged, you feel annoyed. That¡¯s the bottom line. I, as a woman, don¡¯t feel annoyed just five days of the month. And if I really have to be honest, it isn¡¯t necessary that a woman will feel annoyed when she¡¯s on her period. But, a woman will definitely feel annoyed when you do something that is unfair. For example, invalidating her anger by telling her that she¡¯s feeling annoyed solely because of a biological function and not admitting that you might have actually done something to annoy her.

Moreover, this concept also takes away from the fact that women have agency over their own emotions. Just like when someone tells you that you hurt them, you can¡¯t tell them you didn¡¯t because the feelings are theirs and not yours, you cannot tell a woman who's annoyed that her anger isn¡¯t anger at all.

The right thing to do when you see a woman who's close to you being annoyed is avoiding telling her that her anger stems from a biological function and instead introspecting as to what might have made her angry. Instead of telling someone that what they¡¯re feeling is made up, one needs to look into their own actions and take responsibility for them. A woman doesn¡¯t wait for her period to be annoyed and neither does she get annoyed only five days a month. She¡¯s just like any other human being who would get annoyed when something isn¡¯t right. It can happen during those five days of menstruation or on other days. It is high time we grow up and stop blaming biology so that we can be more accountable individuals.