Feel Like You're In A Stagnant Relationship? Here's How To Deal With Roommate Syndrome

A roommate syndrome is when a relationship has become passionless after a couple has been living together under the same roof for a while.

Sumedha TripathiUpdated: Oct 25, 2023, 19:16 IST
4 min read
Indiatimes

We all know how nice it is to be a part of a relationship when it starts. There is so much excitement, frequent dates and of course, the sexual attraction is off the roof. But there comes a point in a long-term relationship when things tend to become stagnant and it is normal for things to simmer down. Well, there is a term for that and we are here to talk about the same.

What is a roommate syndrome?

Roommate syndrome is basically when you are roommates with your romantic partner. However, it is more like you are living with a roommate where there is no sexual engagement or romantic engagement. You are just living comfortably like you do with a platonic roommate. This happens when you are living with the person for a long time.

What leads to roommate syndrome?

There are reasons why someone may be suffering through this. Here are some causes leading to this:

The emergence of a "roommate phase" in a relationship can be attributed to various factors. It often occurs when couples find themselves in a situation where they haven't been able to spend quality time together, they've become preoccupied with their individual lives, or they've unintentionally allowed their romantic connection to dwindle. As relationships progress over time, they naturally undergo periods of highs and lows. Life's demands, such as work, family responsibilities, and daily routines, can sometimes divert a couple's attention away from each other. This can make it challenging to maintain the same level of emotional intimacy and connection that was present earlier in the relationship.

future-dating-mindy-sabiston-9hgdf95tno8-unsplash-64eef3e85cfe9 Unsplash

Neglecting the effort required to nurture and sustain a relationship can result in what is colloquially referred to as the "roommate stage" of a partnership. During this phase, couples may experience a sense of emotional distance or disconnection, akin to living with a roommate rather than a romantic partner. This is a stage that many individuals would prefer to avoid in their relationships.

Rekindling the connection that initially drew them together often involves open communication, date nights, shared activities, and a renewed commitment to maintaining their romantic bond.

How can one overcome roommate syndrome?

To overcome this issue, there are a few things both partners can do. Here are some:

Remember what you like about your partner

Take a moment to reflect on the qualities and characteristics that initially attracted you to your partner. Despite the busyness and distractions that life and routines can bring, it's essential to remind yourself of the positive aspects of your relationship. Deliberately thinking about your partner's admirable qualities can reignite the desire to connect with them on a deeper level. For instance, if your spouse is an excellent cook and you haven't had the pleasure of enjoying their culinary skills lately, initiate a conversation with them. Express how much you miss their cooking and explore the possibility of preparing a meal together, creating a shared experience that strengthens your bond.

Dating smartphone Pexels

Become spontaneous

Another effective approach to enhancing your relationship is to embrace spontaneity. Rigidly planning every detail of your time together can sometimes stifle the spontaneity that makes relationships exciting. Spontaneous gestures, regardless of their scale, can inject fun and surprise into your connection. Consider a scenario where you have a sudden craving for pizza. You could spontaneously bring home your partner's favorite pizza and appetizers, surprising them with a thoughtful gesture. While seemingly small, such actions convey your love and thoughtfulness, enriching your bond.

Do more activities together

Breaking away from routine can be beneficial for nurturing a romantic relationship. Instead of consistently engaging in the same activities, it's advisable to explore new experiences together. For instance, if you both express an interest in trying new things, such as sampling a novel cuisine or embarking on a shopping adventure at a different grocery store, seize the opportunity to do so. Any new experience, no matter how trivial, can become an adventure when shared with someone you deeply care for.

dating-apps-friendship-pexels-ron-lach-9584924-64cca03626e04 Pexels

Prioritize open communication

Frequent and meaningful conversations with your partner are vital. Regular communication fosters a sense of connection and intimacy. Neglecting to engage in conversations can result in missing out on essential aspects of your partner's life, which is likely not your intention. Even if it's a brief exchange before or after work, these conversations can make a significant difference in maintaining your emotional bond.

Try spending quality time together

In addition to communication, dedicating quality alone time to one another is crucial. Sometimes, this entails finding moments away from children and other distractions. When you and your partner can be in each other's company without external interruptions, it allows for a deeper and more intimate connection that may be challenging to achieve when constantly surrounded by others.

seniors dating lucas-cleutjens-wrhbuia9pd0-unsplash-652e3c638e512 Unsplash

So, let things become better.

Sumedha Tripathi

Building, coordinating and crafting engaging content for lifestyle brand 'Evolve' at Indiatimes. Successfully revamping the lifestyle section including topics such as mental health, relationships, self, skin care, music etc. I collaborate with experts from various fields to gather insights and create well-structured pieces.

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