Why It's Hard To Date Especially When You Don't Love Yourself

There are plenty of reasons why someone might have not been on a date in quite sometime.

Maybe they were in a long-term relationship that just got over. Maybe they were so hurt from their previous relationship that dating felt too much of an effort or a sincere waste of time.

But what about those who want to date, want to be in love and want to call someone their own but have been unable to? It doesn't come from their inability to love another person, but take a closer look and you will realise how in some cases those seeking love don't love themselves.

I am not the biggest fan of the logic that says, 'you have to love yourself before you love anyone else.' But at the same time I believe if you don't love yourself enough, you let your insecurities get the better of you. This makes it significantly difficult for you to date.

Here, we've detailed how your insecurities come in the way of a successful relationship, especially when you don't love yourself.

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It's hard to date people when you don't love yourself because you second-guess and doubt everything. You have trouble believing people are honest when they swipe right on you or when they call you beautiful or find you attractive.

There's this constant suspicion looming in your head: do they truly love you or just want something out of you?

You truly believe that everyone sees you in the exact same way you see yourself: as nothing great.

Since you can't imagine anything good happening to you, you rarely ever try. You walk into situations assuming the worst. You convince yourself you will be rejected. So in your head it feels better to not try or even keep an open heart because all things will eventually lead to heartbreak, right? Right.

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It's hard to date someone when you don't love yourself because when you find someone who loves you, you don't think that affection is genuine. You allow your doubts to overpower everything. Even in a stable and secure relationship, you want your partner to constantly provide reassurances of whether they still love you, how they are not bored of you and most importantly, how you aren't their back-up plan.

It's hard to date someone because you have such profound difficulty in accepting unconditional love because that's the kind of love you have never shown yourself. You can't understand why someone would be with you, stay loyal and want to spend the rest of your life with you. Since you don't love yourself, your insecurities and trust issues will create so many fights that even a normal relationship will be doomed.

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This is why it's hard to date someone when you don't love yourself. So focus on doing things that make you happy, widen your knowledge, build solid friendships and work on your confidence. Because that way dating or no dating, committed relationship or an open relationship, you will always feel loved. By yourself.