Table For One: The Pleasure And Pain Of Dining Solo

I am a rebel. But one with a note-worthy cause: solo dining. I want to eat at a restaurant, by myself without any guilt or pity being served up.

You may scoff at why such a basic activity of eating alone is touted as a rebellious act. Maybe that's because eating out is always seen as an intimate activity as we only dine out with dates, friends or family. So when you are seen dining by yourself in public, the preconceived notion is that you couldn¡¯t find anyone to go with you.

In order to fight society¡¯s preconceived notions, a couple of weeks ago, I found myself announcing, ¡°Table for one, please¡± at a nearby cafe. When I walked in, the waiter saw me and smiled, ¡°Just one?¡± he asked. ¡°Sit anywhere you like.¡±

I sat at a table in a corner with a view of the room. It was a relief to order quickly and without any arguments over what to get. I placed my order and it arrived instantly. It was soothing to not have to make any small-talk or be charming for an hour straight.

I ate at my own pace without being rushed. I heard some fabulous jazz music, sipped on my glass of wine, while eating my ravioli in silence and letting my mind wander freely. (Such bliss). And the best bit, I didn¡¯t have to share my tiramisu slice with anyone. Win-win.

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The minute I walked out, I felt empowered. Because naturally, once you know you can do things on your own, it means you're truly free.

I am not alone here. Solo dining is having a moment worldwide. There¡¯s a rise in restaurants adding nuances to support the solo diner. For instance, in Amsterdam, there¡¯s the world¡¯s first single-diner restaurant, Eenmaal, featuring small tables with solitary chairs.

In New York City and Seoul, there are ramen houses where you can eat without seeing other diners. Oh, and if you are seeking company but not from fellow humans, a cafe in Tokyo allows you to chill with stuffed animals or bring your own pets.

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Closer home, we have Zomato (the largest discovery platform for food and delivery in the country) that now has an option on their app that redirects customers to those restaurants that offer meals for one.

Uber-luxe hotels such as ITC Gardenia and ITC Windsor in Bengaluru boast of single dinner menus that are a raging hit with guests. In a report on solo dining by the Times of India, restaurants in Bhopal have a lot more seating options for single diners accompanied by special menus with food items that can also be eaten on the go.

Yet, for my friend, 23-year-old Nikita Choudhary, there is nothing worse than eating out alone. ¡°I would rather starve than sit at a restaurant and eat my meal alone. I am not lonely. Why should I act the part?¡± she says.

Even my 19-year-old neighbour, Khushi Faruqi, feels the same way. ¡°It would make me feel like shit. I am not miserable or alone.¡± Again, the fear of being lonely is being cited.

So even with special menus and a dedicated space for solo diners why do people shy away from dining alone?

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I pose this question to clinical psychologist Shreya Panjwani who said, ¡°People are driven by what other people think about them. Even if these people are strangers. So glances, stares or judgement from onlookers or other diners is the single reason why people avoid stepping out solo for a meal.¡±

Then why do people like me enjoy it so much? ¡°It¡¯s an act of self-care and that¡¯s why people like you enjoy eating out alone,¡± Panjwani explained.

For another friend, Kamna Rai, the joy of eating out is unparalleled. ¡°I never have to share my dessert with anyone. I don¡¯t need to make small talk and I pay for my own food. If that¡¯s not empowering, I don¡¯t know what is.¡±

For my colleague Saloni Singh, eating out is her happy time. ¡°Whenever something goes really well and I need a reason to celebrate, I treat myself to a meal for one. I can go wherever I want, eat what I want.¡±

Now, do you see why eating out is rebellious? It¡¯s peppered with little joys of being free and away from the shackles of society, one meal at a time. Getting comfortable with eating alone has been a blessing and has made me stronger in other uncomfortable situations also. So remember, you are never alone when you ask for a table for one. Your own company is more than enough.