This Twitter Thread On Dark Realities That Women Have To Face In Desi Marriages Is Horrifying
In a detailed thread, she has brought out how the saas-bahu drama is a real thing, especially in the context of Indian households where marriage becomes ¡®a loss-making enterprise for women.¡¯
Marriages in India are anything but 'a union of two equals', especially when husbands consider themselves far superior than their wives. It exhibits nothing but misogyny, patriarchy, and misconstrued gender roles. From personal choices to 'gifts' to what to wear and what to eat, the society is always ready to pounce at women, and this thread on Twitter proves it true.
Twitter thread
A lawyer on Twitter (@meghamehta8488) has called on society critiquing ¡®modern¡¯ Indian women wanting to live away from in-laws. In a detailed thread, she has brought out how the saas-bahu drama is a real thing, especially in the context of Indian households where marriage becomes ¡®a loss-making enterprise for women.¡¯
You¡¯d be surprised how many Ekta Kapoor style horror stories will tumble out of closet. There¡¯s a reason why daily soaps resonate so much with homemakers even today. Urban Gen Z kids might laugh but we really need to remove rose tinted glasses when it comes to our moms¡¯ lives 2/6
¡ª Megha Mehta (@meghamehta8488) October 26, 2022
The superficial beauty standards, the widow-bane syndrome, and the apparent lewd male family members have been known to come out of fiction to shadow a woman¡¯s life in the context of desi marriages.
Taunts over dowry, physical appearance
If not yours, perhaps somebody else¡¯s around you. Chilling stories are out there; all one needs to do is strip the garb of delusion.
Real drama tho is if you happen to get widowed. Suddenly becomes in laws priority to banish widow back to her maternal home and ensure she doesn¡¯t inherit property from her husband. More the siblings more the kalesh over ¡®hissa¡¯ even if they never got along with husband(4/6)
¡ª Megha Mehta (@meghamehta8488) October 26, 2022
'Loss making' enterprise for women
It¡¯s easier to call out the world before rectifying what¡¯s flawed from within. We all have an idea of a ¡®perfect family¡¯ and ¡®happily ever after¡¯ so deeply ingrained in our system that we readily cast off even the slightest bit of roadblock to stick to that idea. Why? Because that¡¯s what sustains us; our idea of the ¡®perfect family.¡¯
Also this might sound awkward but it¡¯s really no use pontificating about sexual abuse and consent without first asking our mothers what it was like living with our fathers. Can we hold our parents to the same standards we hold the rest of the world on social media? (5/6)
¡ª Megha Mehta (@meghamehta8488) October 26, 2022
Scores of women relate to the post
And, so many women have related to this thread on Twitter that it¡¯s chilling and horrifying, all at once.
The whole marriage is a loss making enterprise for women. There are no winners in this game, and it struck me hard during my first Diwali (post marriage) spent at my in-laws place. Kudos for penning this post. Got a lot of fresh horrific memories tumbling out the memory closet.
¡ª Nandhini ? (@nandhinihere) October 27, 2022
That's a lot of bitter truths at one go. While I agree, I also feel there are many pinpricks that could easily be smoothed out if each person got into the others' shoes. I seriously think boys' parents need counselling before marriage to prevent small issues blowing up later.
¡ª Renuka Viswanathan (@Renukathecitron) October 27, 2022
Thank you for putting this out. Not only our mothers but women of current generation also face of most of these issues due to the patriarchal and orthodox mindset of in laws, where men can do no wrong. Being financial independent has saved me from this toxicity.
¡ª Jyoti Rao (@jyotss) October 27, 2022
I cannot agree more, they make my mom burst out in anger and inability to this day, the trauma that she has to face because of my dad's family is unimaginable, Ive seen this as a helpless bystander all through, the fact that she still couldn't say it's her home is heartbreaking!
¡ª Shridhulla (@shridhology) October 27, 2022
Nice thread.I am a senior citizen.I totally agree with the thread.All of us Indians have faced extreme trauma at the hands of our inlaws.I thought we(my age group) would make better inlaws.But not so.We Indian in laws body shame,color shame .Wonder when our society will improve.
¡ª Neeta (@Neeta91423357) October 27, 2022
These are the real truth bombs
¡ª Mitali (@letmezfall) October 28, 2022
Even I know how my mum suffered when she got married and now when I tell her that i want an independent household, she still makes arguments saying everyone is not the same when I am seeing ppl being miserable while living with their in-laws https://t.co/qvqPJP81rC
and if any man chooses to live separately with his wife after marriage, they'd be blaming the woman for "destroying the man's family and splitting him from his old parents" like if his parents/family truly cared about him they'd treated their daughter-in-law right. https://t.co/ZmNUXnFCrK
¡ª Zaaya (@tiredmadwoman) October 27, 2022
The sad truth: Husbands are deified as super-humans while women are reduced to mere puppets in the hands of their male counterparts even as the ironic world joins hands to pray to a woman Goddess. Irony just died a thousands deaths.
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