'Toxic': Husband Slammed For Writing A Brutal 'Performance Review' Of His Stay-At-Home Wife

Being a stay-at-home parent is challenging, with constant responsibility and no breaks or fixed working hours. A man has faced criticism for giving his wife a peculiar written "performance review" as a stay-at-home mom, believing she needed to improve.

The man and his wife are parents to a six-year-old child, and they also care for his wife's 13-year-old daughter from a previous relationship and their 15-year-old niece.

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Following an incident where their youngest child used the pool without permission, the father accused his wife of teaching their daughter to shift blame and manipulate situations to her advantage.

In a post on Reddit, the man wrote, "My wife has taught the youngest she can blame others for her actions to avoid consequences. She says that one of the teens will get punished without question. There's no doubt she is my wife's favorite. I love her, but she's becoming nothing more than an entitled brat."

"As just a mere example, my wife and I had an appointment we both needed to attend. When we came back, it was apparent that the pool had been used. They're not allowed to swim while we aren't home."

"As the youngest divulged, 'Mommy, I was in my room coloring; I never went swimming.' The teens said that was false, and she had also gone swimming. Only the teens were punished; my wife refused to give the youngest any consequence. I later found her wet swimming suit hidden in the garage. My wife and I argued; I felt strongly that she needed to be punished for swimming and lying. After a relentless disagreement, I was silenced as she gave the youngest minimal consequence. The lying, blaming, and favoritism ultimately caused the teens to act out understandably. Most of their consequences are done by giving more chores. Specifically, the chores the 6-year-old has. I believe they're so frustrated they don't even care when they verbally attack their mother after her unfair treatment towards them. After all, they already get blamed and punished for things they don't even do; from my perspective, lashing out gives them a release."

The man expressed that he has had numerous disagreements with his wife. Instead of engaging in another argument, he drafted a "performance review" for her, highlighting the need for fairness and impartiality in her decision-making.

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He added, "I decided to write her a performance review as a SAHM. Her areas in need of improvement¡ªwell, it was a lot. But I touched on how she needs to listen better and stop being biased. Be fair in all her decisions, and stop making rash decisions without considering all three kids."

"So it wouldn't be a slap to her face; I gave her accolades on her strong points in other areas besides parenting. This would work best because I could organize my thoughts on paper without her interjecting. However, it quickly backfired. She was quiet for the first hour after I handed it to her. Then she completely exploded on me, saying if we do this, she'll get a private bank account and take half my paycheck weekly. She further said the review was abusive and a manipulative, sexist move."

The review was slammed as "condescending" by commenters on the post, who agreed with the man that his wife needs to stop being biased toward one child.

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A comment on the post read: "The concerns you have are legitimate, and they need an urgent solution. But the way you went about it is unhealthy. Parenting your children is not a project. You are not her boss; you are her husband and the father of her kid. Giving her a performance review comes across as really condescending and, as she said, manipulative."

Another comment read: "She should be listening better, but seriously? A performance review? What kind of reaction did you expect? You're treating her like a temp worker, not your partner. That was unbelievably condescending."

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