How Unpaid Labour Affects Homemakers And How They Can Take Care Of Their Wellbeing

The role of a man and woman in a relationship or after a marriage has changed drastically as compared to how it used to be a couple of decades ago. Women want to work after marriage and don't see working as negative. However, this does not negate the work of a homemaker.

Who is a homemaker?

A homemaker is a person who makes sure the house is intact and manages everything related to the home and family. This can include a wide range of tasks such as cleaning, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, managing finances, and taking care of children or other family members.

While traditionally, this role has been taken care of by women, the roles have been changing drastically, and many men also take on this role.

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How difficult is the job of a homemaker and how does it affect their mental health?

As per a study by Kaplan, V. (2021). "The burnout and loneliness levels of housewives in home-quarantine during COVID-19 Pandemic", housewifery is a major role that is mostly forced upon women. This causes a lot of mental health-related problems. Whether the women are working or not, they are the ones who have to take double the workload of home and work in most patriarchal societies.

Boz, ?, ?z?etin, E., & Teskereci, G. (2018). Becoming a mother after infertility A theoretical analysis. Current Approaches in Psychiatry, society mostly expects these women to be sacrificing and obedient. They are expected to be passive and diligently take care of the home regardless of their state. This is mostly internalized since childhood what a woman's role should be and that mostly includes nurturing other family members and ensuring the home is managed.

Pooja Nidadavolu, a certified Hatha Yoga teacher from the Sivananda Yoga Vedanta Centre, Madurai also working with JetSynthesys¡¯ ThinkRight.me says, "It is assumed by society at large that it is a woman¡¯s moral obligation to balance work and family life. However, this expectation and burden of unpaid labour and home care take a toll on their mental and physical health. Women feel constant pressure to complete their household tasks and to do them well. There is a fear of being judged, and a feeling of guilt if she is unable to complete these tasks. Moreover, there is rarely appreciation for all her work - be it cooking, cleaning, or taking care of kids or older people in the house."

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All this leads to several problems:

Depression and anxiety

Being a homemaker literally means having to do even the most minimal tasks at all times. One is never really free. This could definitely also lead to a lack of social interaction which can add to feelings of loneliness and depression. Other than that, all the pressure of maintaining a household, managing finances, and caring for family members can lead to anxiety.

Lack of sleep

There are hundreds of studies that denote how important sleep is for the body. However, for homemakers, the stress of making sure that everyone in the house gets everything on time and all the work is done can be stressful. This can also lead them to not sleep well since the anxiety of not completing a task can take over their mind even when they go to sleep.

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Burnout

Ask any homemaker how much work there is to take care of the house right after one wakes. It definitely is exhausting. This can lead to burnout, which is characterized by emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced personal accomplishment.

Low self-esteem

No matter how much work one puts into this job, society still looks down upon a homemaker. Society does not classify it as a real job and that can definitely hamper one's self-esteem, especially if one puts their heart and soul into the work. This can also lead to feelings of low self-worth and self-doubt.

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How to help manage mental health and well-being?

Sanket Pai, an internationally certified Leap Ahead & Human Potential coach, Spiritual life coach, NLP & EFT practitioner, and TEDx speaker working with JetSynthesys¡¯ ThinkRight.me said, "We must understand that choosing to be a homemaker takes courage. It requires a similar skill set as the CEOs of the world, albeit in a different environment - the home. Being a mother, a wife, a daughter-in-law, driving the kids around, managing a platoon of housemaids, planning and cooking meals, and keeping a budget, requires a level of multitasking that is beyond comprehension. And all of this without earning an income! In the midst of all the chores and people to take care of, housewives forget to budget for their happiness and well-being."

A lot of practices can make a lot of difference when it comes to the mental health of homemakers as per Pooja Nidadavolu. Such as:

Self-care

Meditate

Try to meditate, even if it¡¯s just 10 mins before you start your day. This will give you the energy to carry on with the challenging day ahead and keep you centred.

Set healthy boundaries

It is important to be assertive and to be able to say no and know that there is nothing wrong in doing so. Others will respect you only if you respect your own self. Overworking and doing things that you don't feel comfortable with can only ruin your health.

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Communicate

Women are natural at communicating their thoughts and feelings. When feeling down and lonely, they should communicate to their partners how small things have been affecting their mental health. If that could not be done then talking to a friend and getting any helpful solution can help.

Recreation

Every now and then is important to take a break and make time for your own self too. This will recharge you to take on the responsibilities positively and with renewed energy.

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"Homemakers need to stop apologizing for staying at home and start prioritizing their wellbeing. Thinking about self-care isn¡¯t selfish. It is important to schedule that time for yourself to maintain a good mind/body balance. Even if it¡¯s for 20 minutes in a day, do something that recharges your batteries", adds Sanket Pai

It is extremely important to understand the contributions of a homemaker.