Being A Single Parent Is Tough: Here's How It Affects Them Mentally & How They Can Tackle It ?

Being a parent is probably one of the most precious jobs. But let us admit it: raising a child is not a piece of cake. There are a lot of factors one needs to think about before becoming a parent, and lacking in any way can hamper the best possible future for the child.

But for a couple, the most important factor when thinking about having a child is to first understand each other. The relationship should be solid so that the child can grow in a loving and safe environment.

Who is a single parent?

There are times when a child has to be raised by a single parent. For that, there can be several factors. A person can get divorced. They can be separated. There is a chance that the child was born out of wedlock or just because they want to raise the child alone.

A single parent by definition is someone who is raising a child alone without the help of their partner.

What is single parenting stress?

A single parent has all the same concerns that all parents have. To think if their child is getting everything they need? If they have friends and are eating well and performing well in school, this is something that most parents consider. But for a single parent, all the load is on their shoulders.

Smriti Pathak, Ph.D., Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur, M.Phil. in Clinical Psychology (RCI), adds, "Inadequate social support and a history of partner or childhood maltreatment are consistent risk factors for parents' mental health. Parenting is a tough and primarily group task, and a single parent often deals with dissatisfaction in this process. The stresses added when there is a history of abusive or disturbed relationships with a partner can be enjoyed and coped with with the help of social support and adequate counselling."

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Some of the mental load they have to go through includes:

Financial burden

A single parent generally has to take care of all the household expenses and their child's needs all by themselves without the help of a partner. While some may get child support, that generally isn't the case. According to research titled "The impact of financial hardship on single parents: an exploration of the journey from social distress to seeking help," single parents are more susceptible to experiencing financial hardships. This ends up negatively impacting their mental well-being. It was also noted that it can lead to anxiety, depression, and isolation.

Emotional stress

Raising a child alone without any help can be nerve-wracking, to say the least. Other than providing them with financial support, there is a lot more that needs to be taken care of. Educating them on values and teaching them the right things. Doing that along with going through one's own personal feelings and emotions can be overbearing.

Social isolation

Juggling household work, managing the office, and raising a child can leave one with no time for themselves. There is absolutely no time to socialise, meet friends, or just take some alone time for some self-growth. This can lead to one feeling isolated and affect their mental well-being.

Lack of social support

Without a partner to help, single parents may keep feeling the pressure to do everything all by themselves. They may also feel that there is no support from anyone else, making them feel anxious and overwhelmed.

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How can one manage single-parenting stress?

When things get too overwhelming and it feels like raising a kid alone is taking a toll, there are a few things single parents can do to keep their mental well-being intact.

Building a support system

Even though it may be difficult considering your busy schedule, reach out to friends, family members, and other people in your circle to get emotional support. Keeping in touch can also come in handy when you need someone to take care of your child while you are unavailable.

Prioritise self-care

It surely may get difficult to give yourself time when things are so chaotic. But prioritising yourself means engaging in activities that make you feel relaxed and happy, such as reading a book, taking a bath, or practising yoga.

Maintain decorum and discipline

It is only human to miss out on something or other when there is a lot of work on your hands and you are multitasking. In between all the work, you can forget about the rules and regulations that need to be maintained for the kids. But that is one of the most important things. Setting rules and making sure the kids abide by them should be a priority since kids thrive when they know what behaviour is expected of them.

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Don't hesitate to ask for help

Even though you may feel like you can manage everything all by yourself, it is never a bad idea to ask for help from family and friends when things get too tough. After all, one does not need to do all the tough things by themselves.

Don't feel the guilt

From time to time, there may be a lot of things that you miss out on only because you have so much work on your plate. But feeling guilty about the fact that you couldn't take your kid out for a movie or couldn't get them something they really wanted isn't something you should feel. It is necessary to realise that you are doing everything you could and that you are doing your best.

Seek counselling

Sometimes things may get too much, and that is fine considering all that one has to deal with. So taking therapy to talk about how to manage emotions and yourself can be something you try.

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"Taking care of the financial concern is of the utmost importance, and one has to be very transparent and honest with the child. Sometimes we have to understand that a kid is not limited in his or her cognitive ability; they can also appreciate our situation if you clearly explain it to them. We have to be human and explain our limitations with the promise that we will do better for them, and most important, remove the word "guilt" from your dictionary," adds Smriti Pathak.

After all, you are doing the best you can.